So I’ve been marinating over the controversy regarding THE NIGHTINGALE playing at The La Jolla Playhouse. Setting the ground: I am American of Filipino descent and I am in the process of building a career in Theatre as a playwright. If you don’t know what the fuss is with this production, search “La Jolla Nightingale” or ‘discover’ #Nightingale on Twitter. You can also check out the very insightful panel discussion here: https://vimeo.com/46243248
Okay, my take – it’s motivation. I’ve been too angry about other issues in the past to know that that anger/passion/spite has not really gotten me anywhere except for feeling like it’s Me vs. The World… or more specifically… me vs. the world that I consider against me. Thankfully I’ve grown up a little and have gotten away from thinking that the world revolved around me to even have those feelings.
Rather, the discussion about having Asian-American representation in American Theaters has motivated me. It has motivated me to WRITE more of my stories. To get my story, as a Filipino-American, PRODUCED. The motivation to seek the education to be ABLE to tell our stories (and being honest with myself, have been trying to talk myself out of) so that we are not INVISIBLE anymore in the American Theatre Community. If you want to challenge that assertion then why was there an uproar, for lack of a better word, over THE NIGHTINGALE?
But this isn’t why I’m writing this since I do share the same feelings as many blogs out there from an AA perspective. I’m all about the ACTION ITEMS. I loved how it was put in the Panel that the discussion is to influence further decisions because this is a WORKSHOP production. If this was the full production, then talks would become a strike. I understand that… and in terms of being a dramatist, the stakes are that high! And it should be.
But part of the discussion is personally internal: Why do I still have the need to look into an audience to see how many people of color are there? Can I relate to this story based on how I was brought up and in my environment? (I saw this play at a festival with story setting based in a Cul De Sac with peeps complaining about this season’s wine crops… ??? okay. Can’t relate… but I digress) Why aren’t there more people of color here? Not only would people of my ethnicity come to see my work, but would people outside it see it? Would my subject matter, plot, characters alienate the larger “white” audience? Why do I care what others think? Because if it doesn’t attract a large audience, then why would they even produce it? And on and on…
For the most part, these questions are what I’ve been struggling with in making the decision to pursue the career I’ve been putting off for so long. Is it worth it? HELL YES IT IS! Am I scared by making this decision? HELL YES I AM! “If no one is going to tell your story, then WRITE IT YOURSELF!” Of course, I’ll worry about whether or not it will be produced, but the answer to that is that the work needs to be GOOD! It has to show a level of hard work and some talent. Sure, if you have friends with a theater and a theatre company in the position to produce your work, then the road is easier, but I’ve had to struggle through a lot, and I’m not going to think that this is going to be any different. To that point though, I have to thank Bindlestiff Studio (San Francisco) and A-Squared Theatre Workshop (Chicago) for giving me the confidence in producing my work.
Questioning aka Complaining is important (Did I say that?) because it is the first step that needs to be taken. It’s an internal scream saying that there is something wrong! When more than one person’s rant (Kudos to @EQuill) compels others to agree, then we have an argument. The next step is to have honest and productive discussions to in order for some to see that there is indeed a problem and there is a need to seek a solution. Then ACTION needs to be taken. This sounds elementary to me, but experience has taught me that people make things harder than they need to be. Guess that depends on the people who want to WORK with you… ha.
I want to be a writer. (Though, some will argue my aptitude based on this blog entry.) I want to know that there will be an audience for my work. I need to know that, in some small way, I’m helping to be one of many hammers to knock down a wall which will let in the light for others to see that Filipinos aren’t all about being good singers, dancers, cooks, nurses, comics, imitators, loving and beautiful people. We can also be catty, flawed, prideful to a fault, hypocritical, screwed-up, moody, mean, and wrong. In other words, I want to have others not familiar with the environment I grew up in, SEE that the people in my world are just as HUMAN as they are. I hope that there will be an OPPORTUNITY to make this happen.