WRONG NUMBERS
Conrad A. Panganiban
written 8/28/2012
KIYOMI:
40s. Female. Office accountant.
ANDUS:
30s. Male. Office sales staff.
(KIYOMI is standing in front of the Xerox machine waiting for a piece of paper to print out, but nothing is happening. So she starts to press a couple of buttons… when ANDUS enters.)
ANDUS
Hey, Kiyomi. Did my report come out?
KIYOMI
Stupid machine!
(KIYOMI is getting more and more agitated that the copier/printer isn’t working. It gets to the point where she kicks the machine and starts to cry.)
ANDUS
Whoa. Kiyomi. It’s just a machine. We’ll get it fixed.
KYOMI
Everything is falling apart. I’m falling apart. I just want… need that printout.
ANDUS
I think Jeff will be fine if you just email the numbers for the presentation to the team. We don’t have to have it always printed out. Don’t worry, he’s a pretty chill boss.
KYOMI
This isn’t going to work. I’m so screwed. We’re both screwed. How am I going to tell Jeff?
ANDUS
It’s just another sales meeting. The only thing to worry about is if we totally screwed up our projections.
(KYOMI stands silent with clearly something on her mind.)
ANDUS
Did we totally screw up our projections?
KYOMI
What?
ANDUS
Just how bad are our numbers this month? Please tell me that they’re better than last month’s.
KYOMI
What’s better?
ANDUS
The NUMBERS! Sales! Revenue. This will be another negative month if the projection is off even by 5 per-cent. Jeff will have our asses if we keep losing money. He’s already stressed out because of his marriage, and…
KYOMI
He’ll have other things to worry about if… Marketing Department! Their printer is on the network…
(As KYOMI runs out, ANDUS begins to fidget at the thought that something bad is about to happen…)
(The printer/copier comes back to life with a whirr…)
(ANDUS takes out the printed out paper and looks at it, at first normally, then in shock.)
ANDUS
Twins… with Jeff?
Blackout.
END OF PLAY
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.