Hey Blog! So what’s the word? The word is that I am pretty burnt out. I’ve put in about a 60 hour work week and not one of those hours was spent writing. Well, I kinda take that back. Wednesday Nights are my sanctuary time as I get to bask in the gloriousness of teaching others about playwriting! It’s a good solid 3 hours, so I’m thankful for that. But other than that…
I guess I’m writing all of this down as a way to reassess what I’m doing with my life. Like, what chapter am I opening up? Especially now that getting my degree closes one. I’m not really second guessing my decision to get my MFA, but now that I have one, am I using that knowledge to the best of my abilities? With the workshop I’m teaching, I’d definitely say, Yes, but aside from that no. That said, in my gut, trying to be truthful, am I using the gifts I’ve been given?
Yes and no. Technically and financially, I am. But spiritually and talent-wise. No. Now that is disconcerting. One of the reasons why I fell into being a playwright was because of the immediate effect that I had on others (aka audience). I see that effect as having talent–doing something that without trying too hard; doing something that is natural; relying on instincts in order to create; to praise and honor God for giving me the path to pursue… and it feels like, right now, I’m walking it with one foot and the other one stepping in thorns. (Okay, that was a little dramatic. LOL.)
I guess that’s where I am right now. It makes me kinda sad, but it feels like I’m in a holding pattern on the financial side.
It just dawned on me of how much this is feeling more like a blog post than something to do with my playwriting “career.” *sigh*