The Infinite Line Between Me, Lolo, and Loco
A 10-minute Horrific Dive into the Mind of a Teenager Gone Insane
by conrad a. panganiban
CAST OF CHARACTERS
RIZAL: Late Teens. Male. Hip-hop head and skater. Grandson of Lolo.
LOLO: Mid 60s. Rizal’s grandfather who is a couple Skittles short of a rainbow.
LOLA: 50s-60s. Female. Lolo’s wife and Rizal’s grandmother.
TIME
Present.
PLACE
The Bautista Family Kitchen in a Victorian, Noe Valley, San Francisco.
RIZAL
Word! My Lolo, that’s what I call my grandfather, is going a little crazy. Well, crazy might not be very PC, but the doctor calls it Schizoaffective Disorder. So he kinda sees things that aren’t really there. But since it’s just me and him, we just gotta deal with it, even if that means I have to jump to his level of cray a couple of times. Except lately, he’s gotten a little worse.
(Lights up on the rest of the stage to reveal LOLO at the kitchen table.)
Peeps be tellin’ me to put him into a home. I hear ’em and all, but… At least he hasn’t tried to hurt himself or anything… yet.
LOLO
I once climbed on top a bull, grabbed his horns, and raced through the streets of Pamplona with me on top waving to everyone! Yee-haw!!!
RIZAL
(To Audience) See what I mean? (To LOLO) Sounds really exciting! Grape or strawberry this morning, Lolo?
LOLO
Rizal, that bull was as white as a ghost and had big red eyes – a very angry spirit.
RIZAL
Maybe it was because you were grabbing his horns.
LOLO
I felt his solidness between my legs.
RIZAL
Wow. Well, why don’t we let go of them horns and think about breakfast, okay, Lolo? Grape this morning?
LOLO
No. Strawberry jam today. Your Lola likes Strawberry jam.
RIZAL
I know she did, Lolo. (to Audience) If you’re trying to keep score out there, Lola was my grandmother. (to Lolo) Strawberry it is. More Sanka?
LOLO
CafŽ Americano.
(RIZAL walks over and takes Lolo’s cup to refill it.)
RIZAL
You got it. One cream, five sugars.
(RIZAL pours some coffee into his Lolo’s cup. Grabbing the cup and the toast, which was laid out on a paper towel, he returns to the table placing the items in front of him. As RIZAL sits in front of his bowl of cereal, LOLO takes up one of the slices of toasted bread, rolls it width-wise, and dunks it into the cup before placing it into his mouth.)
RIZAL
So what be the plan today, Lolz?
LOLO
I once caught a thousand pound Marlin off the Coast of Cuba.
RIZAL
Okay. Fishing it is. There should be more squid in the freezer.
LOLO
Houndfish. The squid won’t be enough to attract the Marlins.
RIZAL
Houndfish?
LOLO
They are about this long…
RIZAL
That’s pretty long.
LOLO
Oh, yes. And it has lips that are… this long.
RIZAL
You’re kidding?
LOLO
No, its lips are really that long. And they have razor sharp teeth, so you have to be careful when you hook it.
RIZAL
I think we’ll just stick with the squid then. Like how you taught me. I hope that the pier isn’t as crowded as yesterday.
LOLO
Not the pier. Kalk Bay.
RIZAL
Isn’t that near Santa Cruz?
LOLO
Near Cape Town.
RIZAL
South Africa?
(LOLO stands up and starts waving his hands in the air. SFX: Wind and rain.)
LOLO
Come into shore now! It’s not safe!
RIZAL
Uh… it is safe, Lolo.
LOLO
No it’s not! I know those clouds. Look! 30 minutes ago they circled starboard side at 75 knots. There’s a storm coming. No. A Typhoon!
RIZAL
Then we should go inside now, Lolo. Come on…
LOLO
Not with them still out there. Help me! Rizal, help me. Call for them. That fishing boat out there! You have a bigger voice!
(RIZAL puts down his spoon and stands next to Lolo.)
Stroke harder! The storm is coming! THE STORM!
RIZAL
(To audience.) Here we go again.
(RIZAL gives a look to LOLO. With hands waving in the air, looking forward, RIZAL shouts over the howling storm winds.)
RIZAL
Hey. Hey!!! The storm! It’s behind you! Hey!
LOLO
Tang ina! [Mthr Fker!] Hurry up!
RIZAL
Here they come Lolo! Look over there! They made it! They’re safe! Everyone from the village is coming out to help them.
LOLO
Do you see anyone else out there?
RIZAL
I can’t see! The rain and the winds are too strong! We have to go back now!
LOLO
Not until all the boats are back! I cannot leave until they are safe!
RIZAL
The storm is getting worse!
LOLO
Not until they are all back!
RIZAL
There! There! Over the break! That looks like The Cebu Darling! It’s coming in!
LOLO
My Darling from Cebu!
RIZAL
Yes, Lolo!
LOLO
I can’t see out there, did they make it?!
RIZAL
Yes! YES! They made it. They’re tying up now and walking back up the shore. Let’s go meet them!
(RIZAL takes LOLO in his arms and walks him back into his chair. RIZAL rubs LOLO’s arms with his hands and gives him his cup of coffee with LOLO takes between his hands and shivers a little between sips.)
(RIZAL takes in what just happened with a sigh and sits back down at his cereal bowl.)
LOLO
I should have never left.
RIZAL
Left where, Lolo?
LOLO
Kalk Bay.
RIZAL
There was a storm. Remember? We were just on the shore. Waving The Cebu Darling in.
LOLO
That was my home.
RIZAL
Well, this is your home now. In good old San Francisco. No storms. Just fog. A whole bunch of fog.
LOLO
You don’t understand, Rizal.
RIZAL
Lolo, your coffee is getting cold.
LOLO
No! You are the one who is cold! Your Lola is back there. In Kalk Bay!
RIZAL
No, she’s not, Lolo. She’s here.
LOLO
I left her there. I have to go back.
RIZAL
No, Lolo. Believe me. She’s here, yo!
LOLO
Then where is she? Leonora! Leonora! Where are you? Come here!
RIZAL
She can’t come here, Lolo.
LOLO
You just said that she’s here! You stupid son-of-a-bitch! How can you lie to me like that about her? Oh, my darling from Cebu. I can feel her here! I can even smell her! I know the lotion she uses! So, don’t tell me that she’s not here! Can’t you smell it?! Even her roses. I can smell them too! It’s in the air… it’s in my clothes! Her scent is everywhere!
RIZAL
Lolo! She’s in Colma! All right!? She’s buried there, because she’s dead. Last year, she had a stroke and fell down the backyard steps. I was there. Remember?! So give up that she’s in Kalk Bay. Because, she’s here in the United States. In California. In Colma! Dead.
(Still angry, RIZAL gets up, grabs his bowl and puts in the sink. Then he approaches his grandfather.)
RIZAL
Are you done?
(LOLO doesn’t say anything. His gazed is affixed forward. Taking that as a, “Yes,” RIZAL takes his cup and the paper towel with another piece of toast on it and goes back to the counter.)
LOLO
Can we visit her? I’d like to visit her. We can take some of her Roses from the backyard. The white ones. She will like to see her favorites again.
Pause.
RIZAL
Sure, Lolo.
(Enter LOLA dressed in white with her long hair down staring at Rizal. RIZAL sees her and is frozen in his tracks. LOLA pulls the hair from in front of her face to behind her ears.)
LOLA
Rizal.
RIZAL
Not you…
LOLA
The truth.
(RIZAL is starting to freak the eff out!)
LOLA
THE TRUTH!
RIZAL
Wha… what… what are you talking about?
LOLA
Tell him.
RIZAL
Tell who? What?
LOLA
You have to.
RIZAL
Have to what?!
LOLA
You know.
RIZAL
Go away! Why can’t you leave me alone?
(As LOLA makes her way towards him, RIZAL, in fear, quickly moves away from her.)
LOLA
I can’t. It is because of you that I am here. You are the one who did this to me. You!
RIZAL
I… I… I didn’t mean it.
LOLA
How many times did I tell you, huh? How many times?!
RIZAL
How was I supposed to know?
LOLA
Supposed to know what?
RIZAL
That you were going to go back there.
LOLA
Who else is going to take care of my roses? You?
RIZAL
That’s not what I meant!
LOLA
So you didn’t mean to leave your skateboard on the back porch?
RIZAL
It was for only a second!
LOLA
And that second has led to an eternity of waiting.
RIZAL
Waiting for what?
LOLA
For you to tell him.
RIZAL
Tell him what? It was an accident. It was…
(As LOLA recounts what happened during her demise, RIZAL’s actions are synchronized with her recount.)
LOLA
An accident? Are you talking about the accident of you lying about me having a stroke or the accident of you leaving your skateboard outside which made me fall down the steps? I saw you, you know. I saw you run down the hall and step into the white light leading out into the back when you heard the noise of my falling body. You just looked at me and didn’t even utter a sound. Instead, you picked up your skateboard, threw it over the neighbor’s fence, and call out…
RIZAL
Lolo. LOLO!!! It’s Lola! She fell down the steps! She’s not moving! She’s not…!
LOLA
And. You. Just. Watched. You didn’t even know if I was still alive while you just stood there. At the top of the steps watching, as I lay there… dying.
RIZAL
You didn’t even…
(LOLA moves behind RIZAL.)
LOLA
Move? Oh I did. Because as my body lay there, I was right behind you.
(LOLA blows air into Rizal’s ear. RIZAL reacts.)
LOLA
I made sure you felt that.
RIZAL
Please? Can you just…?
LOLA
What?
RIZAL
Go away. Please?
LOLA
I can’t. You have imprisoned me in here.
RIZAL
Where?
(With LOLA still behind him, she leans into his ear.)
LOLA
Your Head.
RIZAL
No!!! Go away! Go AWAY!!!
(LOLA begins to laugh maniacally while RIZAL covers his ears!)
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
(Still in a devilish laugh, LOLA exits. LOLO gets up, grabs RIZAL by the arms and sits him down in a chair. RIZAL rocks himself with his hands still covering his ears.)
Make her stop! Make her stop…
(RIZAL grabs a plate, smashes it and tries to cut his wrist with a broken piece. LOLO stops him by grabbing Rizal’s wrist and looking him in the eyes.)
LOLO
Rizal. It’s Lolo. I’m here. I’m here.
RIZAL
Lolo?
LOLO
Where are you?
RIZAL
Kitchen. Here.
LOLO
Good boy. Good. Give me that. Easy. Easy. Sit here. Everything’s going to be okay.
(LOLO takes the piece of plate from RIZAL and puts it away as he goes over to a cabinet, finds a pill bottle, pops the lid, spills a couple of pills into his palm, walks them over to a rocking Rizal and places them into RIZAL’S open mouth)
LOLO
Open. Rizal open. Good. Now swallow. Good boy. Your Lolo’s here.
(LOLO goes over to the phone, picks it up and dials. RIZAL begins to slow down his rocking motion.)
LOLO
Hello. Dr. Gaulet please. Thank you. (pause) Dr. Gaulet. This is Ciriaco Bautista. It’s Rizal and it’s happening again. That Schizoaffective thing. It’s back. Yes. I put the medication in his cereal, but it’s only getting worse. One minute he’s yelling into a storm and the next he’s yelling at someone in his head. I don’t know what to do anymore. His grandmother knew what to do, but it’s only me and… and I don’t… he just tried to hurt himself. He’s never… I think that it’s time. I can’t take care of him anymore. (Yes.) Okay. Okay. We’ll be here. See you soon.
(LOLO hangs up the phone as he watches over his grandson. As the lights begin to fade out, LOLA’s laugh can be heard off-stage.)
END OF PLAY