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The Perfect American
An American Comedic-Drama
By Conrad A. Panganiban
CAST OF CHARACTERS
BEVERLY MARIE-SPENCER: Late 30s – early 40s. Female. Filipina. A single mom, immigrant, entrepreneur and motivational speaker. The consummate sales person and go-getter. She is also the over-protective mother of Walter.
WALTER BRYCE SPENCER: 18. Male. Filipino American. Beverly’s son and personal assistant. Although, Walter has Asperger’s Syndrome, he is determined to live a life of independence outside of his mother’s care/shadow.
VALERIE ZHANIBEKOVA: 20s – 30s. Female. Asian-American. Fun-loving new immigrant from Kyrgyzstan, Eastern European accent intact, who has escaped a dark past.
FRANCISCO “FRANK” MIRANDA: Late 30s – early 40s. Male. Filipino. A laid back former Blues guitarist who suffers from the beginning stages of Parkinson’s Disease. Immigrated from the same country as Beverly. Comes to Beverly’s class seeking answers, a relationship, and redemption.
SETTING
Inside the Spencer Living Room located in their home in Frankfort, Kentucky.
TIME
The Present.
PLAYWRIGHT’S NOTES
Francisco suffers from the beginning stages of Parkinson’s Disease making it impossible for him to play his guitar anymore. The actor portraying him has the discretion, other than when is in the script, as to which points in the play, he shows these symptoms.
At rise, the audience sees a living room which looks like the Fourth of July exploded: American flags of every size line the walls, collector plates of U.S. Presidents fill a cabinet, pillows enveloped in Stars and Striped covers sit on couches are just a few of the patriotic objects the audience sees.
A dining room set with open chairs. A stack of money sits on one corner of the table. Next to the stack lies a variety of books, T-shirts, bumper stickers, and Walter’s cellphone. On another corner is a cassette tape player. The largest of the United States flags is either hanging on a pole or is tacked to a back wall.
An audience gathers outside the front door of the Spencer house. WALTER BRYCE SPENCER, 18, greets them and hands out small booklets (the play programs) titled, The Perfect American by Beverly Marie-Spencer.
Enter WALTER BRYCE SPENCER, 18 years old, dressed in casual Friday attire.
WALTER
Welcome.
I hope that you are all settled in, yes?
Great.
It is greatly appreciated that all of you made it here on time.
FRANCISCO “FRANK” MIRANDA, late 30s – early 40s, enters the room holding a duffle bag and wearing a cowboy hat, sunglasses, a colorful cowboy shirt (with the frills), jeans, and boots. WALTER notices FRANCISCO looking for a seat.
WALTER
Well, almost all of you.
FRANCISCO
Hi. Uh.
Howdy. Sorry for being late. I had a little trouble finding the place and…
WALTER
Well, I am glad that you found us.
FRANCISCO
I am too.
WALTER
You may sit anywhere you’d like, sir.
FRANCISCO
Mighty kind of ya.
FRANCISCO sits.
WALTER
Great. Again, thank you for accepting our invitation to come into our humble home. And…
and…
and we are uhh…
BEVERLY (O.S.)
(Stage whisper)
Happy.
WALTER
What?
BEVERLY (O.S.)
(Stage whisper yell)
Happy!
WALTER
I am happy.
BEVERLY (O.S.)
Not you. “We are happy that…”
WALTER
Oh. Right. We are happy that…uh..
BEVERLY (O.S.)
Wally, please use the that cards I gave you.
WALTER
Oh, yeah.
(WALTER takes out some index cards from his back pocket. When he forgets his next line, he looks down at them.)
We are happy that you can share your precious… time with us today.
I have already met some of you last week when you took your Oath of Allegiance at your naturalization ceremony at the Old State Capitol.
Thank you for accepting our invitation… and, oh yeah, I’ve already said that.
Um… For those of you who don’t know my name yet, my name is Walter Bryce Spencer.
Hello!
(Musical notes played on a child’s xylophone are heard.)
And that’s our cue.
Can I have everyone give our host a warm welcome?
(HE begins to clap his hands.)
Heeeeeere’s Beverly Marie-Spencer.
WALTER continues to applaud as BEVERLY makes her Grand Entrance.
BEVERLY
Awe. Thank you! Thank you for such a marvelous welcome. Thank you!
Before we begin, I would like to lead all of us in a little prayer. Now if I can have everyone please stand up… place your right hand over your heart, and say with me:
(She turns to face the Largest Flag.)
I pledge allegiance
To the Flag
Of the United States of America,
And to the Republic for which it stands,
One Nation under God,
Indivisible,
With liberty
And justice
For all.
Thank you.
You may be seated now.
I get the chills every single time we recite that.
Especially with all of you Brand New United States Citizens!
(BEVERLY and WALTER begins to applaud.)
Congratulations to all of you!
And while we are all in the applauding mood, can we also have another round of applause for…
(BEVERLY goes to a female audience member. )
I hope you don’t mind.
Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s welcome, Ms. Lorelei Goldsmith. She happens to be a producer for a popular news channel that I’m sure all of you are familiar with… the news channel NOT known for having fake news.
She has come all this way to see if what I’ll be teaching you will benefit the rest of America on her television channel. So, let’s show her what an audience from our home in Frankfort, Kentucky can be like for this great country of ours.
(to Ms. Goldsmith)
Ms. Goldsmith, you are in for a real treat today! I promise you that this will be the most
flawless presentation you, and everybody here, will ever be a part of. So, thank you for your presence.
And last, but not least, I would like for all of us to recognize my amazing assistant: Wally Bryce
WALTER
It’s Walter now, mother.
BEVERLY
Mother?
WALTER
Sorry. I meant Beverly.
BEVERLY
No need to be sorry, Wally.
WALTER
Walter.
BEVERLY
Walter?
WALTER
Yes. I wish to be called Walter from now on.
BEVERLY
Okay… Walter it is.
WALTER
Thank you, Beverly.
BEVERLY
You’re welcome, Walter.
Oh, and not only has Walter been doing a great job as my assistant, but I’m proud to say that he turned eighteen today. So, let’s wish Walter a Happy Birthday with a song shall we?
(BEVERLY starts off the Happy Birthday Song to get the audience to sing with her to Walter.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR WALTER,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
Thank you, everyone.
(BEVERLY goes over to him and fixes his hair and gives him a motherly look.)
Did you know that he learned the names of the original thirteen colonies when he was only two years old?
Go ahead.
Show them.
WALTER
Now?
BEVERLY
Go on.
WALTER
Do I have to?
BEVERLY
Yes, Walter. Remember? Flawless?
WALTER
Fine…
Delaware. Pennsylvania. New York
BEVERLY
Not like that, Walter.. Like the way I taught youwhen you were two.
(BEVERLY begins to hum the beginning of “Yankee Doodle”)
WALTER
But that was 16 years ago.
BEVERLY
It’s like riding a bike.
WALTER
You won’t let me ride a bike.
BEVERLY
That’s because you have no balance, Dear. But you won’t get hurt singing a song.
So, c’mon, let’s show them what I taught you. I’ll even sing it with you.
WALTER
Promise?
BEVERLY sticks out her pinky finger for WALTER to wrap his pinky around.
BEVERLY
Pinky swear.
Let’s do this.
(BEVERLY and WALTER recite the order of the Original Colonies sung to the tune of “Yankee Doodle”)
BEVERLY AND WALTER
DELAWARE AND
PENNSYLVANIA
NEW YORK AND
NEW JERSEY
MARYLAND AND
MASSACHUSETTS
GEORGIA AND
VIRGINIA
NORTH CAROLINA AND
THE SOUTH ONE TOO
CONNECTICUT
NEW HAMPSHIRE
RHODE ISLAND PROVIDENCE
COUNT AS ONE
AND THAT’S THE THIRTEEN COLONIES
YEAAHHH…
BEVERLY
That’s my boy! Take a bow!
WALTER
Thank you.
BEVERLY
Now, why don’t you go into the kitchen and fetch us some refreshments?
WALTER
Okay.
WALTER exits towards the kitchen.
BEVERLY
I’m so lucky to know that he’ll be taking over the business when the time comes. And possibly on The Learning Network… but let’s not worry about that right now.
WALTER re-enters but stands in the kitchen doorway.
WALTER
Beverly?
BEVERLY
When I first came to this / country
WALTER
Mother!
BEVERLY
(To Audience)
Please, excuse me.
(To Walter.)
What is it Wally?
WALTER
Walter.
BEVERLY
What is it, Walter?
WALTER
We ran out.
BEVERLY
Ran out of what?
WALTER
The mix.
BEVERLY
Isn’t that why you went to the market earlier?
WALTER
Yes, but
BEVERLY
Then how can we be out? Did you drink all of it again? Let me see your tongue.
WALTER
I didn’t drink it.
BEVERLY
Then did you lose it?
WALTER
I don’t know.
BEVERLY
(To the Audience)
Please excuse me while I confer with my assistant. In the meantime, refer to the back of the booklet you were handed when you first entered. There’s a pretty good chance you may win a prize based on a specific phrase. Won’t that be fun?! I promise, this will take only a second.
(To WALTER)
Now, Walter, where did you last see it?
WALTER
I’m not able to recall its last location.
BEVERLY
You have an eidetic memory, Wally. It’s impossible for you to forget.
WALTER
You forgot to call me Walter.
BEVERLY
Walter!
WALTER
I uhh… I forgot.
BEVERLY
Walter. You know how important this presentation is.
WALTER
I know.
BEVERLY
It’s supposed to be flawless.
WALTER
I know, but
BEVERLY
I even asked you if you needed me to come with you
WALTER
I know
BEVERLY
And what did you tell me?
WALTER
I said I was old enough.
BEVERLY
“Because it was”
WALTER
“Because it was my birthday.”
BEVERLY
And because it was your eighteenth birthday, I trusted you to make sure we had everything.
WALTER
You can trust me.
BEVERLY
Can I?
WALTER
Are you mad at me?
BEVERLY
For forgetting the mix?
WALTER
You are mad at me.
BEVERLY
I’m not mad
WALTER
I don’t appreciate it when you’re mad
BEVERLY
Did I say I was mad?!
WALTER
Why are you mad at me?
BEVERLY
I’M NOT MAD AT YOU!
WALTER
You kind of sound mad.
BEVERLY
I’M NOT… I’m not… mad, Wally… Walter… I’m just…
Do you still have the receipt?
WALTER digs into his pockets and turns them inside out and shakes his head, “No.”
BEVERLY (CONTINUED)
Do you remember who helped you?
WALTER
Valerie.
BEVERLY
Good.
Now, go back and ask Valerie if she can help you.
WALTER
Now?
BEVERLY
Can’t you see that our guests are thirsty?
(To Audience)
Are you thirsty?
(To Walter)
See? They’re thirsty.
Go.
Now.
WALTER begins to exit.
BEVERLY
Oh. And since you’re there, we’ll need the latest People Magazine?
WALTER
People Magazine. Got it.
BEVERLY
And Entertainment Weekly.
WALTER
Entertainment Weekly.
BEVERLY
And a National Enquirer…
(BEVERLY remembers that Ms. Goldsmith is looking at her.)
No, not that one. We don’t read the National Enquirer on this television show… I meant presentation. What I meant to say was, can you please purchase an InTouch Magazine, as well?
WALTER
Okay…
People.
Entertainment Weekly.
National Enquirer… no, not that one…
And InTouch.
Got it.
BEVERLY
And don’t forget to use our Savers Card.
WALTER
Yes. I have that.
BEVERLY
Thank you, Walter.
WALTER
You’re welcome, Beverly.
BEVERLY
Remember, just to BELL Supermarket and back, right? Our guests can’t wait forever.
WALTER
Yes. Bye.
WALTER begins to exit out the front door.
BEVERLY
Wrong way, Walter.
The back door.
WALTER
Back door?
BEVERLY
Back door.
WALTER
Oh, right. I almost forgot.
BEVERLY
Thank you.
WALTER
You’re welcome.
BEVERLY
Be careful, okay?
WALTER
Okay.
WALTER exits out through the kitchen doorway.
BEVERLY
Sorry about that. It seems that my assistant failed to remember the most important ingredient for what I like to call, the All-American classic beverage, Punch. No need to worry though, he’ll be back in a ‘jiff.’ And, in case you’re wondering, ‘Jiff’ is an American word for ‘really fast’.
It also happens to be another name for Peanut Butter.
Now as I was requesting from Wally, we can’t forget about one of our essential Training Aids Super Market Magazines. You see, normal Americans only think of these things as pure Entertainment. But rest assured, I am teaching all of you how to become perfect Americans through the use of these training aids. You see my fellow Americans, the social dynamics of this great country runs, frankly, on the knowledge of popular culture and the lives of Celebrities.
So, keep this in mind the next time you’re talked down to, made fun of, or made to feel
inferior to others. You are most definitely not. All you have to do is simply bring up the opulent life of America’s First Family, the Kardashians… or Jay-Z and Beyonce. Bring up Dancing with the Stars or any of the many reality T.V. shows the next time you’re blamed for this country’s woes. You will not only throw them off about your knowledge of American pop culture, but you will start to break the proverbial ice with them and eventually become their friends. Their colleagues. And eventually, their equals.
The road of assimilation begins with learning everything you can about what’s shown on television; what’s heard on the radio; and who’s doing who in the movies and in real life. You do that and you will begin to establish a common ground with the people who, at first, could only see the differences in the color of your skin, the sound of your voice, or the smell of your food.
Which reminds me… there’s nothing more American than eating food from McDonald’s.
Remember that. We’ll have a tasting demonstration of other American delicacies in later lessons. Trust me, you will love TaterTots. So, don’t forget to sign up for those workshops at the end of today.
BEVERLY pushes down a button on the cassette tape recorder and Pomp and Circumstance begins to play.
BEVERLY (CONTINUED)
Ladies and Gentlemen, I realize that learning to love American food, how to speak our
language, and this country’s fascination with entertainment culture can be a little difficult for some of you to grasp at first. I know it was for me at the beginning as well. But look where I’m at now. On the verge of having my very own TV Show!
But I digress, because today isn’t about me. It’s about each one of you. And, right here, right now, I make a pledge to be your teacher; to be your mentor; to be your Big Sister on the next step of your American Journey.
You’ve already made a similar pledge the other day at the U.S. Citizenship Office. You’ve answered all the necessary questions. You’ve made the commitment to defend your new country against all enemies: foreign and domestic. You. Are. Americans.
BEVERLY begins to applaud in an effort to get everyone to applaud with her. Then suddenly, she presses the stop button on the tape player.
BEVERLY
But only on paper, my fellow Americans. Only. On. Paper. So, think of these seminars as the secret shortcuts, tips and tricks on how to get the most out of your newly acquired U.S. Citizenship. These living room seminars, books, and the DVDs I provide you with (at a nominal cost, of course) are ways to fulfill the reason why you came to this country in the first place — to be a part of the American Dream. I’m talking about a new way of thinking outside the country and culture you, like me, had been born into. Think of today, in this very living room, as your new birth.
Welcome to your first step into being The Perfect American.
Suddenly, the front door flies open and a shopping bag full of packets of punch fly onto the foyer’s floor. VALERIE ZHANIBEKOVA, dressed in working clothes with a green apron which reads, BELL Supermarket and a name tag that spells out, Valerie.
VALERIE
Sorry. Sorry. Oooo so sorrrry!!! Let me pick these up. So clumsy. Sorry.
BEVERLY
Valerie?
VALERIE
Oh, Hi. (to audience) Hello. Um, Walter forgot these at BELL Supermarket so I…
Wow. I did not know you were having party. I would have brought Funyuns from store.
BEVERLY
Where’s Wally?
VALERIE
You mean, Walter?
BEVERLY
Yes. Walter. Where is he? I sent him back to the store to get those.
VALERIE
Then that would have saved me a trip. Ever since I started working the morning shift at BELL Supermarket, I am always late. Too cold in morning to wake up. Anyways, I have to work extra hours to
BEVERLY
Where is Walter?
VALERIE
How should I know?
BEVERLY
You must have passed him on the way here.
(To audience)
Excuse me.
BEVERLY reaches for her mobile phone and dials. As she puts the mobile to her ear, the ringtone of God Bless America is heard.
BEVERLY sees Walter’s cellphone on the table. As she presses ‘End Call’ on the phone, the ringtone ends.
BEVERLY
He knows he’s not allowed to leave the house without his phone.
VALERIE
I’m sure he is okay. He is 18 years old today, yes?
BEVERLY
How did you know that?
VALERIE
He tell me this morning.
He ask me to guess age.
I tell him 22.
He tells me, No. “I’m 18.”
And I say,
“Not me. I’m not 18.” I wish I were though. Then I can wake up earlier for job.
And I feel too old for 18, even if I look 18.
Do I look 18?
BEVERLY
I don’t
VALERIE
So, I ask him if I look 18. And then he say, No. But, he says that I look as younger than his mother. So, I ask him how old is she? He says, very old. Very very old.
BEVERLY
I still don’t
VALERIE
So, that’s when he tells me that he is 18 years old today and he wants to be called Walter from now on because he said he is man now.
BEVERLY
He said that, did he?
VALERIE
Oh, yes. Back home
BEVERLY
And where is that?
VALERIE
Kyrgyzstan.
BEVERLY
Oh my! You are a long way from home aren’t you?
(To audience.)
Ladies and gentlemen of the audience, is anyone here from Kyrgyzstan?
VALERIE
(Raises her hand.)
I am.
BEVERLY
Well, that’s interesting.
VALERIE
Not really. Kyrgystan is very small country very very far away.
BEVERLY
No. I was going to say that it’s interesting that you don’t look like the type of person who would speak Russian.
VALERIE
I speak Kyrgyz. Not Russian.
And you don’t look like the type of person who would speak American.
BEVERLY
You mean English.
VALERIE
We all speak English, right? But not all of us speak without uh… how you say, dialect?
BEVERLY
You mean accent. Not all of us can speak without an accent.
VALERIE
I think accents are sexy. Very very sexy. They make us… uh, how you say, unique.
BEVERLY
Not in this country.
VALERIE
You are not allowed to be sexy in this country?
BEVERLY
That’s not what I meant
VALERIE
Walter
BEVERLY
Walter is not sexy!
VALERIE
I was going to ask if I can wait for him, because I have this for him. I’m sure he is worried about it.
BEVERLY
Don’t you have to get back to the store?
VALERIE
I already finished the morning shift.
BEVERLY
Well…
Hold on. How did you know where we lived?
VALERIE
It is on the register.
At BELL Supermarket.
From your Savers Card.
I wanted to wish him a happy birthday, so when he left without groceries, I knew I could beat two birds with one rock.
BEVERLY
You mean, kill two birds with one stone.
VALERIE
Believe me, when I beat two birds with stone, they will both be dead. One time, I beat six, sometimes seven
BEVERLY
That’s all right. I get the picture.
VALERIE
I did not take picture then. No iPhone in Kyrgyzstan back then.
BEVERLY
I didn’t mean it like that
VALERIE
So, I can wait?
BEVERLY
For Wally?
VALERIE
For Walter? Yes.
BEVERLY
Sure.
I’m sure he’ll be home soon.
Would you like to have a seat, Valerie?
(BEVERLY indicates the open seat next to the table.)
Please.
VALERIE
In front of all of them?
BEVERLY
There’s nothing to worry about. They don’t bite.
VALERIE sits in her seat and is visibly nervous in front of everyone. She starts to squirm, fidget, bounce her knee up and down, or play with the objects on the table.
BEVERLY
Now where was I? Ah, yes.
Learning how to speak and use proper American English in the context of Popular Culture. That is just one of the valuable lessons that…
(BEVERLY noticing Valerie’s nervous actions.)
Excuse me?
Are you okay?
VALERIE
Yes. Very much. I just get… you know… a little nervous… in front of uhh… strangers.
BEVERLY
There’s nothing to be nervous about. They’re not strangers. They’re more like friends.
VALERIE
Friends like Monica and Chandler?
BEVERLY
Ah, from the TV show.
VALERIE
That’s how I learned English.
“How you doin’?”
BEVERLY
Well, I’m a little irritated right now, but that doesn’t matter.
(To audience.)
Everyone say, Hi, Valerie.
AUDIENCE
Hi, Valerie.
VALERIE
Hello. Wow. You’re all so nice.
BEVERLY
See. I told you. Friends. Now that we all know each other, there’s no more need to be nervous, okay, dear?
VALERIE
Okay.
VALERIE begins to laugh. Throughout Beverly’s lines, VALERIE’S laughter becomes a “case of the giggles.”
BEVERLY
Now, where was I?
Ah, yes. Like Walter, your new birth begins today. So, let’s start with the myth of the American Dream. Not only are you going to learn how to talk in a new
(Noticing VALERIE laughing)
I’m sorry. Did I say something funny?
VALERIE
You called me an animal.
BEVERLY
A what?
VALERIE
An animal. You called me a deer.
BEVERLY
I said, my dear as in… You know what? Why don’t we save that for our next presentation, okay?
VALERIE
Okidoki, Mrs. Walter Spencer.
BEVERLY
You may call me Beverly Marie-Spencer. Or just Beverly. Beverly is just dandy with me.
VALERIE
Okay, Mrs. Beverly Marie-Spencer?
BEVERLY
Excellent. Now, where was I? Ah, yes, the myth of the American Dream. For centuries immigrants, like you and I, believed that the streets were paved with gold and that every opportunity was there for the taking.
VALERIE raises her hand.
BEVERLY
Yes, Valerie.
VALERIE
I am confused.
BEVERLY
Well, that’s why it’s called the myth of the American Dream. There isn’t a real road made of gold.
VALERIE
Not that: Is your first name Beverly or Marie?
BEVERLY
Why do you ask that?
VALERIE
Because your name is Mrs. Beverly Marie-Spencer.
BEVERLY
Yes, but I don’t see
VALERIE
What does your husband call you? Beverly? Marie? Foxy Mama?
BEVERLY
I don’t have a husband.
VALERIE
Then what about Walter’s father?
BEVERLY
What about him?
VALERIE
You are not married to him?
BEVERLY
Valerie, that’s a private matter. Besides, I’m not wearing a ring. See. Not married.
VALERIE
In Kyrgyzstan, ring does not mean you’re married. An oramal means that
BEVERLY
That’s very interesting, Valerie. But as you can see, I have an audition… I meant a lesson that I’m trying to teach
VALERIE
Is it common in America to have two first names, Mrs. Beverly Marie-Spencer?
BEVERLY
Well, my first name is Beverly, and my last name is Marie-Spencer with a hyphen between the names: Marie-hyphen-Spencer.
VALERIE
And a hyphen is the little line between, yes?
BEVERLY
That is a hyphen, yes.
VALERIE
Class over. I am smarter than teacher!
BEVERLY
(Not amused.)
Good for you.
VALERIE
So, Beverly. Not Beverly Marie.
BEVERLY
Just Beverly.
VALERIE
Okidoki Dude!
BEVERLY
Great! Now, where was I?
VALERIE
You are in your living room.
BEVERLY
No, I meant… never mind.
What I want to start talking about is the American Dream.
Suddenly, the door opens and Walter enters the room.
WALTER
Hi.
VALERIE
Hello Walter!
BEVERLY
Walter, what did we say about using the front door?
WALTER
Oh, right.
Goodbye.
WALTER turns around and begins to exit .
VALERIE
Walter! Where you going?
WALTER
The front door must remain locked after the presentation has started. That’s one of the rules.
VALERIE
Is that to keep the audience from escaping?
BEVERLY
Valerie!
VALERIE
Haha. J/k, Mrs. Beverly Marie-hypen-Spencer. J/k.
WALTER
I better go and use the back door now.
VALERIE
Don’t be silly, Walter. You are already inside. Stay here.
(VALERIE gives Walter the bag and she closes the front door.)
Here.
Look inside.
WALTER
Mother?
BEVERLY
It’s okay, Walter. Go ahead. Look.
VALERIE
It is what you left at the store. See. All of the Grape and Red flavor packets are all there.
WALTER
Okay.
BEVERLY
Is that all you’re going to say to her?
VALERIE
Oh, he does not have to tell me anything.
BEVERLY
You’re too kind, Valerie, but Wally needs to learn how to be appreciative when someone does something nice for him.
VALERIE
But it was not any trouble at / all.
BEVERLY
Walter!
WALTER
Thank you.
BEVERLY
To whom?
WALTER
Thank you, Valerie.
BEVERLY
That’s my boy.
And Valerie?
VALERIE
Yes?
BEVERLY
Aren’t you going to reciprocate the gesture Walter has made?
VALERIE
What is ressss…
BEVERLY
Reciprocate.
Reciprocate is what you do when someone thanks you.
VALERIE
Oh.
VALERIE goes over to Walter, gives him the bag, and kisses him on both cheeks and slaps the sides of his arms.
WALTER
Uhhhh… I better make the punch now.
WALTER runs out of the room.
VALERIE
He must really like punch.
BEVERLY
Why did you do that?
VALERIE
That is how we “reci-pro-cate” in Kyrgyzstan.
BEVERLY
We are not in Kyrgyzstan. This is the United States of America and that’s not how we say, “You’re welcome.”
VALERIE
Walter seemed to like.
BEVERLY
He doesn’t know what he likes.
VALERIE
So, what I did is not acceptable?
BEVERLY
No! He’s never been kissed before.
VALERIE
Never?
BEVERLY
No. He’s too young.
VALERIE
But he is eighteen today, yes?
BEVERLY
Yes, but
VALERIE
In my country, eighteen is old. People are married when they are fourteen. Sometimes, you do not even know the person you are to marry.
BEVERLY
Valerie, I know that you are still new to this country, but a simple “You’re welcome” is sufficient enough to reciprocate the feeling of gratitude.
VALERIE
So many big words.
BEVERLY
That’s why “You’re welcome” is good enough.
VALERIE
But the way we do it in Kyrgyzstan, no words. More… simple, yes?
BEVERLY
No.
VALERIE
No?
BEVERLY
No.
VALERIE
This country is so confusing.
BEVERLY
And that’s why you’re here…
(She indicates the audience.)
…with everyone else. To learn how to become the perfect American.
The sound of a large plastic pitcher and several plastic cups hitting the ground comes from the kitchen.
BEVERLY
Wally! Is everything okay in there?!
WALTER (O.S.)
It’s Walter!
BEVERLY
Walter, do you need help?
WALTER
No!
BEVERLY
(To Valerie)
See what you did? Now he’s all flustered.
VALERIE
I didn’t mean to
More kitchen utensils are heard hitting the floor.
BEVERLY
I better check up on him.
VALERIE
No. I will go. You have a party here.
BEVERLY
Oh.
(Finally realizing that there’s an audience in front of her.)
Right.
VALERIE begins to exit towards the kitchen.
BEVERLY
Wait!
VALERIE
What?
BEVERLY
Are you going to kiss him again?
VALERIE
Is making out the same thing?
BEVERLY
DON’T YOU!
VALERIE
I’m kidding. I’m kidding!
But it is his birthday
More kitchen untensils are heard falling on the floor.
BEVERLY
You stay here!
BEVERLY exits.
WALTER (O.S.)
What are you doing?
BEVERLY (O.S.)
Give me that!
WALTER (O.S.)
No! I got it!
VALERIE turns to look at the audience.
VALERIE
Hello.
My name is Valerie.
I work at BELL Supermarket.
VALERIE does an assortment of things while waiting on Beverly or Walter to return from the kitchen. She might flip through the objects on the table or sing or maybe do a tap dance.
WALTER reenters.
VALERIE
Walter!
WALTER
Hi.
VALERIE moves towards Walter and he backs away and moves around her.
VALERIE
Is everything okay?
WALTER
Yes.
VALERIE
Where is your mother?
WALTER points in the direction of the kitchen.
VALERIE (CONTINUED)
I am sorry for kissing you.
WALTER
Oh, that. It’s nothing. As a matter of fact, I am quite used to it.
VALERIE
But, she said that you’ve never been kissed before.
WALTER
I’ve been kissed plenty of times.
VALERIE
Really?
WALTER
Of course!
VALERIE
By who?
WALTER
Beverly.
VALERIE
Your mother?
WALTER
Yes. But she only kisses me here.
(He points to the top of his forehead.)
VALERIE
Then I am sorry for scaring you.
WALTER
I was not scared.
VALERIE
But you run out
WALTER
I like punch.
VALERIE
That is what I said. I notice your tongue when you talk. So red. And because you buy so much Kool-Aid, I know it is because of drink. So…
Oh!
VALERIE runs to her bag, takes out something and hands it to Walter.
VALERIE
Happy Birthday!
(WALTER shows that he has a chocolate bar in his hands.)
I noticed you always look at this when you stand in line at BELL Supermarket.
WALTER
Hershey’s.
You shouldn’t have.
VALERIE
But it is your birth
WALTER
Beverly will get mad. She never buys this for me. Even after numerous attempts, she still says, “No.”
VALERIE
But it’s just
WALTER
She says that
VALERIE
Don’t worry. I am not going to tell her.
WALTER
(Indicates audience)
But what about them?
VALERIE
Them?
(To audience.)
Will you tell?
AUDIENCE
No!
VALERIE
See. They won’t tell.
WALTER
Ms. Goldsmith, will you tell?
VALERIE
She won’t tell her either. Right?
WALTER
But it would be wrong.
VALERIE
No, it wouldn’t. It is your birthday and you are supposed to be happy, yes?
WALTER
I guess?
VALERIE
And she would want you to be happy, yes?
WALTER
I guess.
VALERIE
And guess rhymes with yes, yes?
WALTER
Yes?
VALERIE
So no telling Beverly, yes.
WALTER
Yes!
VALERIE
Good Man.
WALTER
Thank you, Valerie.
VALERIE
Thank you, Walter.
So, what is your birthday wish?
WALTER
Wish?
VALERIE
It is an American custom to make a wish when you blow out a candle on your Birthday Cake, yes?
WALTER
I don’t know.
I don’t like cake.
VALERIE
WHAT?!
Who doesn’t like cake?
WALTER
Me.
VALERIE
How can you not like cake? There’s nothing more American that Apple Cake.
WALTER
That’s pie. There’s nothing more American than Apple Pie. And that’s why I like pie more than cake.
VALERIE
Because Apple Pie is more American?
WALTER
Yes.
VALERIE
Then you are going to have a Birthday Pie!
WALTER
Okay.
VALERIE
So, what will you wish for with your Birthday Pie?
WALTER
Hmph. I’ve never done that before.
VALERIE
Close your eyes.
WALTER
Why?
VALERIE
Just close your eyes. Trust me.
WALTER suspiciously closes his eyes.
VALERIE pretends to hold out a pie in front of Walter.
VALERIE
I’m holding a pie in front of you.
WALTER opens his eyes.
WALTER
Where?
VALERIE
It’s an imaginary pie.
WALTER
Is it an imaginary Apple Pie?
VALERIE
Since it’s your pie, it’s any pie you imagine it to be. Now close your eyes.
With a smile on his face, WALTER re-closes his eyes.
WALTER
Hmmm… Apple Pie.
VALERIE
Can you see the imaginary candle
WALTER
Candles. There are 18 candles on top of the pie.
VALERIE
Okay. Can you see the 18 candles on top of your Apple Pie?
WALTER nods, ‘Yes.’
VALERIE
Now make a wish… and blow.
After a beat, WALTER blows out his candles.
VALERIE
Happy Birthday.
WALTER opens his eyes.
WALTER
Thank you.
VALERIE
So, what’s your wish?
WALTER
I think it’s customary to NOT share a birthday wish for it may not come true.
VALERIE
I don’t believe in customs.
So, what did you wish for?
WALTER
A Greyhound Bus.
VALERIE
A bus?
WALTER
Not just any bus. A Greyhound Bus.
VALERIE
Well, if that is your wish, I hope you get one one day.
WALTER
Did you know that Washington D.C. is 555 miles away?
VALERIE
Is that where you want to go on your Greyhound Bus?
WALTER
Maybe.
VALERIE
Disneyland. I’d love to visit Mickey Mouse and his Goofy animal friend.
WALTER
Disneyland is in Anaheim, California which is 2,131 and a half miles away from here.
VALERIE
That’s a lot of miles. Would you like to visit Anaheim?
WALTER
Beverly would never let me go. She says bad things are in California.
VALERIE
Mickey Mouse is not a bad thing.
WALTER
Mice carry diseases like salmonella, hantavirus, leptospirosis, rat-bite fever… and the
plague.
VALERIE
Mickey Mouse does not have the plague.
WALTER
How do you know? Are you a veterinarian?
VALERIE
Mickey Mouse is not a real mouse!
WALTER
Mickey Mouse is a pretty rich mouse for not being real mouse.
VALERIE
Let’s just drop the mouse.
WALTER
Dropping a plague carrying mouse is never a good thing.
VALERIE
Where do you want to go Walter? On your Greyhound Bus?
WALTER
Anywhere.
VALERIE
Except California.
WALTER
Except California.
Did you know that the Grand Canyon was first known as the Great Canyon? In 1869, a person named, John Wesley Powell, was the first to call it the Grand Canyon and the name stuck.
The Washington Monument is the only monument in U.S. History to be built before and after the Civil War.
It took 14 years and 400 men to carve out Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt (Theodore, not Franklin), and Lincoln at Mount Rushmore.
I’ve read about all of these places and memorized all their facts. I’ve even committed to memory the distances of many American cities from sea to shining sea in hopes that one day, at the end of one of those miles, I’ll find him.
VALERIE
Who?
Enter BEVERLY with a tray of plastic cups on a tray. One of them is marked with a round yellow sticker with a smiley face on it.
BEVERLY
Well, here we go. It’s Punch Time!
(BEVERLY stands in front of Valerie and just as Valerie begins to reach for a cup, BEVERLY quickly turns to the audience and begins handing out the cups of punch.)
[Production Note: One of the cups should stand out from the rest, either in size, color, or decoration. All of other the cups have circular stickers on the bottom of them inscribed with a random number.]
Please.
Feel free to take a cup.
One of the cups is handed to FRANCISCO who puts his head down so she won’t recognize him.
BEVERLY
My my. That’s one colorful shirt.
FRANCISCO
(In a Texas drawl)
Mighty kind of you to say, Mam.
BEVERLY pauses briefly to note that there is something oddly familiar about Francisco.
BEVERLY
I’m sorry. More thirsty people.
Here you go.
Here you go, Sir.
Here you go, Mam.
Here ya go, Little Man.
You sure you don’t want one? Please take one. I insist. It’s free and there’s more to come if you like.
Here you go.
(When someone attempts to grab the “special” cup…)
I’m sorry, that is for someone special.
(She turns to Walter with the lone cup.)
Saved the best for last.
(She then turns to Valerie)
BEVERLY
Valerie?
VALERIE
For me?
BEVERLY
To thank you for bringing the Punch.
VALERIE
It’s all right. I’m not thirsty.
BEVERLY
TAKE IT!
Please. 🙂
I insist.
VALERIE
Okay.
BEVERLY
Now, please have a seat.
VALERIE
I like standing
BEVERLY
SIT!
VALERIE
(VALERIE sits.)
Okay, I’m sitting now.
Thank you.
BEVERLY
You’re welcome.
Now. Drink.
VALERIE takes a sip.
BEVERLY (CONTINUED)
There’s still some more in the cup.
VALERIE begins to drink.
BEVERLY (CONTINUED)
Keep going.
VALERIE chugs the rest of the drink.
BEVERLY (CONTINUED)
Wasn’t it yummy?
VALERIE lets out a burp and nods “yes” to Beverly.
BEVERLY (CONTINUED)
(BEVERLY gives the tray to Walter.)
Walter. If you’d be a dear and put this back where it belongs.
Thank you.
WALTER
You’re welcome.
WALTER exits.
BEVERLY
Now that we are all refreshed with a cool beverage, we can move along with our presentation with no more disruptions. Right, Valerie?
VALERIE gives Beverly a thumbs up.
BEVERLY (CONTINUED)
And I have a surprise for a lucky audience member! Of the ones who received a cup, if you’d please take a look underneath it. Be careful not to spill any…
BEVERLY reaches into a paper bag sitting on the table and pulls out a piece of paper.
BEVERLY (CONTINUED)
And the lucky number is… Five!
Look under your cup, everyone.
Who’s got the number five?
FRANCISCO raises his hand.
BEVERLY
Congratulations, Sir!
(BEVERLY grabs a bumper sticker (or another prize) from the table and gives it to FRANCISCO who stands to take it.)
Here ya go!
Everyone let’s give…
What’s your name?
FRANCISCO
Frank.
(FRANCISCO takes off his cowboy hat and sunglasses.)
But you can call me Francisco.
BEVERLY
…
WALTER
Uh… let’s give Frank Francisco a round of applause!
(Applause.)
VALERIE gets up holding her stomach.
VALERIE
Beverly?
BEVERLY
Yes, Valerie.
Are you okay?
VALERIE
Yes. I just. May I use the wash room?
BEVERLY
Of course, it’s right over there?
VALERIE
Is there air freshener inside?
BEVERLY
I don’t believe so in that bathroom.
VALERIE
I will need one.
BEVERLY
Okay. Um… there’s another bathroom upstairs. You can use that one.
VALERIE immediately exits to the direction of that bathroom.
Enter WALTER.
BEVERLY
No need to worry, I promise that it wasn’t the punch that made her sick. Now where were we?
WALTER
This is the point in the presentation where the selected audience member recites the-
BEVERLY
Right. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Wally.
WALTER
Walter.
BEVERLY
Yes. I keep forgetting.
Walter.
Frank, is it?
FRANCISCO
You can still call me Francisco.
BEVERLY
Thank you, Frank. Would you mind doing me a favor?
FRANCISCO
That’s what I’m here for.
BEVERLY
It better be the only thing.
FRANCISCO
Excuse me?
BEVERLY
If you can, please read out loud the fifth pillar on the back of your handbook.
FRANCISCO
I’m afraid that I never got a handbook.
BEVERLY
Walter, how come Frank doesn’t have a handbook?
WALTER
I’m sorry.
BEVERLY
That’s not being flawless.
FRANCISCO
Hey. Don’t blame him. It’s an honest mistake, Walter.
BEVERLY refocuses on another audience member with a handbook.
BEVERLY
Hello. How are you?
Do you mind reading out loud the fifth pillar in the handbook? It’s on the back of your booklet. Yes. Right there.
AUDIENCE MEMBER
The heart of the American Dream beats within the family.
FRANCISCO coughs.
BEVERLY
Did you hear that everyone?
Read it one more time… I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.
AUDIENCE
[Name]
BEVERLY
Thank you, [name]. Would you mind reading that one more time?
AUDIENCE MEMBER
The heart of the American Dream beats within the family.
FRANCISCO lets out a loud cough to mask what he’s about to say…
FRANCISCO
Sorry. Something stuck in my throat.
Can I get more punch?
WALTER
Sure.
BEVERLY
Sorry, there’s no more left. But if you wanted to leave and come back another time
FRANCISCO
And miss this lecture about the American Family? I would never be able to forgive myself.
Please continue. I’d love to hear what you have to say.
BEVERLY
Of course you are. Well…
The heart of the American Dream
Beats within the family.
What do you think that means, my fellow Americans?
“… beats within the family.”
Do you think that George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, or any of our other founding fathers would think this way about their own families in the context of the American Dream?
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe?
But I can tell you that
FRANCISCO
I think that families should always come first.
BEVERLY
Yes. It certain cases, it should. And that’s exactly what Thomas / Jefferson
FRANCISCO
A family’s heart should always beat together as one, right?
BEVERLY
Of course. But getting back to what Thomas / Jefferson
FRANCISCO
So what happens when a family member dies?
BEVERLY
Well that… that would be tragic.
FRANCISCO
Tragic?
BEVERLY
All forms of death is tragic? Especially in a family. Would everyone agree?
FRANCISCO
I know that. What happens to the heart when a family member dies?
BEVERLY
I’m not really sure what Thomas Jefferson had to / say about
FRANCISCO
I’m talking about your mother, Maria.
She’s dead.
Silence.
WALTER
Mother, who is he?
BEVERLY
(To Francisco)
May I have a word with you?
(To Audience)
I apologize for the interruption ladies and gentlemen. If would could please excuse me. I promise to be back with you momentarily.
(To Walter)
Walter, can you please lead the rest of the class?
WALTER
Uh… I
BEVERLY
Walter!
WALTER
Yes?
BEVERLY
Please lead the class.
WALTER
Okay.
BEVERLY
Thank you.
(BEVERLY gestures to Francisco to move towards the front door.)
Please…
BEVERLY and FRANCISCO move to the front door.
WALTER stands in front of the audience.
WALTER
Uh… The heart of the American Dream beats within the family, right?
BEVERLY (O.S.)
How did you find us?
WALTER
Let’s read about this heartbeat.
FRANCISCO (O.S.)
The address is on your website.
WALTER
Turn to page five of your book.
BEVERLY (O.S.)
You promised that you’d leave us alone.
WALTER
Please read, The American Family.
FRANCISCO (O.S.)
And that’s what I’ve done for the last 18 years!
BEVERLY (O.S.)
Then why are you?
FRANCISCO (O.S.)
You haven’t aged a bit.
BEVERLY (O.S.)
Francisco
FRANCISCO (O.S.)
But the way you speak is so
BEVERLY (O.S.)
FRANCISCO, WHY ARE YOU HERE?!
FRANCISCO (O.S.)
I told you. Your mother passed away… last month.
Pause.
BEVERLY
Good.
BEVERLY reenters the living room.
BEVERLY
My. My. It’s certainly quiet in here.
WALTER
They were reading… Mom, who is that?
BEVERLY
It’s no one.
(To Audience)
Again, I am so sorry for the interruption.
WALTER
Mom?
BEVERLY
Beverly.
WALTER
Beverly, what happened to my grandmother?
Re-enter FRANCISCO through the door.
BEVERLY
I told you that I’m not interested in what you’re selling.
FRANCISCO
Maria?
BEVERLY
My name is Beverly. Beverly Marie-Spencer.
Please. As you can see, we’re in the middle of something very important. So, if you don’t mind.
(BEVERLY moves to the front of the audience and throws on a BIG SMILE!)
Okay!
I see that you have turned to the chapter on the American Family.
Thank you, Walter. I can take it from here. Why don’t you go check on Valerie?
WALTER
Are you sure? What about
BEVERLY
He’s just about to / leave
FRANCISCO
Why would I want to leave now? I’m learning so much right here.
I can’t wait to try me some of that Jiff peanut butter when I get home.
BEVERLY
You’re free to leave and try it right now.
WALTER
I can stay here if
BEVERLY
Walter, I mean it. Go find Valerie.
WALTER
But
BEVERLY
She might need your help.
WALTER
(WALTER looks at Francisco)
Are you sure?
BEVERLY
I’ll be fine. Nothing’s going to happen to me. I have plenty of witnesses.
WALTER
Okay.
WALTER begins to exit.
FRANCISCO
Walter. Wait. I have something / that
BEVERLY
Walter. Go.
FRANCISCO
It’ll only take a minute.
BEVERLY
You’ve run out of minutes.
(To Walter)
Why are you still here, Walter? I told you to check on
WALTER
I’m 18 years old!
FRANCISCO
Hey! Happy Birthday, Man!
BEVERLY
WALTER!
GO!
WALTER stands still..
FRANCISCO
Hey, Buddy.
WALTER
My name is Walter.
FRANCISCO
Right. I’m sorry, Walter. She’ll be fine. I promise nothing’s gonna happen to her.
BEVERLY walks over to Walter and kisses him on the head.
BEVERLY
Find Valerie. Make sure she’s okay and bring her right back here.
WALTER slowly exits while maintaining fierce eye contact with Francisco.
FRANCISCO
I just wanted to wish him a Happy Birthday.
I swear, I wasn’t going to tell him anything else.
BEVERLY
You think I would trust you to be alone with him.
FRANCISCO
You should. And technically, he’s an adult now. So, we should be able to act the same way–like adults.
BEVERLY
As far as he knows, and you agreed to this, it was you who left us.
FRANCISCO
I know. But he’s 18 now and he deserves to know
BEVERLY
I should’ve told him you fell into one of those tree muncher things.
FRANCISCO
A wood chipper?!
BEVERLY
That’s the one!
FRANCISCO
I worked for that landscaping company for one summer and that’s what would’ve told him?
BEVERLY
I should have, but I didn’t. I told him the truth instead.
FRANCISCO
And what lie was that?
BEVERLY
That you couldn’t handle the pressure of being a father.
FRANCISCO
That’s your side of the story.
BEVERLY
A story you agreed to in writing.
FRANCISCO
Hey! You forced me to sign / that stupid
BEVERLY
I forced you? You never complained every first of the month.
FRANCISCO
Are you seriously going to use your money against me?
BEVERLY
Why not? Can you do any better?
FRANCISCO
…
BEVERLY
I didn’t think so.
FRANCISCO
Money isn’t everything.
BEVERLY
In this country, it’s the only thing. Speaking of which, how’s your own citizenship coming along, huh? Are you even fit to be in the same room with all of these other U.S. Citizens?
FRANCISCO
Are you?
BEVERLY
Legal and documented. You see, money can buy more than you think.
FRANCISCO
Well, you can’t buy me. Not anymore. And Walter deserves to know that.
BEVERLY
You really think he’s going to want anything to do with you after he finds out what you did?
FRANCISCO
He’s 18. He can decide on his own.
BEVERLY
You don’t know him like I do.
FRANCISCO
Maybe that’s the kind of person I don’t want to know.
BEVERLY
How dare you question my parenting? You sure as hell don’t know how to be one.
FRANCISCO
Then give me the chance to find out. Right now. Let me be his father.
BEVERLY
Did you come here to take him away from me?
And think carefully before you answer that. Do you really think that he’d be better off with you?
FRANCISCO
…
BEVERLY
Why are you here?
FRANCISCO takes out an envelope from his pocket and holds it out to Beverly.
FRANCISCO
Because of this.
BEVERLY
What’s that?
FRANCISCO
Take it. It’s for you.
BEVERLY opens the envelope, takes out a letter, opens it and quickly folds it back.
BEVERLY
I can’t.
FRANCISCO
It has your name on it just in case you forgot, which apparently you have.
BEVERLY hands it to “MS. GOLDSMITH.”
BEVERLY
Here.
FRANCISCO
What are you doing?
BEVERLY
I can’t read it.
(To the Audience member with the envelope.)
Ms. Goldsmith, would you mind reading it for me? And keep in mind that this isn’t normally what happens during these presentations.
Unless, you’re viewers would be
FRANCISCO
Maria.
BEVERLY
(To MS. GOLDSMITH)
Beverly Marie-Spencer is my legal stage name.
FRANCISCO
Maria, you can’t let a stranger, no offense, read it.
BEVERLY
Again, it’s Beverly Marie-Spencer. And she’s not a stranger. Over the past couple of months of e-mails and phone calls, Ms. Goldsmith is like family to me.
FRANCISCO
And yet, you still call your dear friend, Ms. Goldsmith?
BEVERLY
Lorelei. Her name is Lorelei.
I hope you don’t mind me calling you, Lorelei?
No?
See, practically sisters.
FRANCISCO
If that’s the case, Lorelei, be prepared to not see this sister for a long time.
BEVERLY
That’s not fair.
FRANCISCO
(To MS. GOLDSMITH)
May I?
If MS. GOLDSMITH is resistant, FRANCISCO asks BEVERLY, through body language, to give the okay for AUDIENCE MEMBER to hand over the envelope to Francisco.
FRANCISCO (CONTINUED)
Thank you.
(FRANCISCO opens the envelope, takes out a letter, unfolds it and begins to read in a different language in [English Translation in Brackets]…)
Inday Maria [Dear Maria,]
BEVERLY
What’s the matter with your hand?
FRANCISCO
Don’t change the subject.
BEVERLY
But your hand?
FRANCISCO
Inday Maria, [Dear Maria,]
BEVERLY
Dear Mari— Beverly,
FRANCISCO
Dili nako intensyon nga istorbohon ang imong oras… [I don’t want to take up too much of your time.]
BEVERLY
I don’t want to take up too much of your time.
FRANCISCO
Gusto lang nako na pahibal-on ka na namatay na si mama. [I just wanted to tell you that mama died.]
BEVERLY
I just wanted to tell you that… mama died.
FRANCISCO
Nahibaw-an namo na si mama adunay cancer, duha ka tuig na. [We found out she had cancer two years ago.]
BEVERLY
She got cancer two years ago.
FRANCISCO
Gikan sa iyang tungol ni padulong ang cancer sa iyahang baga. [From her colon, it spread to her lungs]
BEVERLY
From her colon, it spread to her… to her…?
FRANCISCO
Nikatag sa iyahang lymph nodes [lymph nodes]
BEVERLY
Lymph nodes?
FRANCISCO
Ug sa dihang na apektuhan na dayon iyahang utok. [And finally to her brain.]
BEVERLY
And finally to her….
FRANCISCO
Utok [Brain.]
BEVERLY
… brain.
FRANCISCO
Naningkamot baya gyud mi sa pagbulong nimo, [We tried to find you earlier,]
BEVERLY
We tried to… find you…. earlier?
FRANCISCO
Pero mura man ug di ka layhan magpa-bulong. [But it seemed like you didn’t want to be found.]
BEVERLY
But it seemed like… it seemed like… trovi?
FRANCISCO
Found. “It seemed like you didn’t want to be found.”
Maria, how can you forget your own language?
BEVERLY
Keep reading.
FRANCISCO
Kung ikaw nakabasa ani nga sulat, [If you’re reading this letter,]
BEVERLY
If you are reading this letter,
FRANCISCO
Milagro gyud nga nakit-an ka ni Francisco [It is a miracle that Francisco found you.]
BEVERLY
It was a miracle that Francisco found you.
FRANCISCO
Pero pasensya na diha kung walay milagrong nahitabo para ni mama. [I’m sorry that there were no miracles for mama.]
BEVERLY
I’m sorry that….. I’m sorry.
FRANCISCO
She wrote, “I’m sorry that there were no miracles for mama.
Mama kept asking for you until the very end.
You are the only family I have left. But I don’t even know if I can say that anymore.
I miss you so much. There’s not a single day that goes by that I don’t pray that we’ll be together again.
I need you.
Love,
Your Little Sister,
FRANCISCO
Gerilyn.
BEVERLY
Gerilyn.
FRANCISCO folds the letter back into the envelope and holds it out to Beverly.
FRANCISCO
What do you want me to tell her?
BEVERLY
Nothing.
Tell her nothing.
Beverly never takes back the envelope, so FRANCISCO puts it back into his pocket.
VALERIE enters.
VALERIE
Hello.
BEVERLY
Where’s Walter?
VALERIE
I like the pictures you have in the upstairs bedroom.
BEVERLY
Pictures? Wait a minute. That room’s locked.
FRANCISCO
She likes keeping secrets.
VALERIE
The room was very easy to open.
BEVERLY
WALLY! Where’s…
WALLY! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!
VALERIE
Maybe he answer only to Walter now.
BEVERLY
I sent him to see if you were doing better.
VALERIE
Oh yes. Just a little diarrhea.
I found the pink bottle in cabinet. Tummy is much better now.
There is also pack of cigarettes under sink. I hope you don’t that mind I take some for later.
BEVERLY
Did anyone ever tell you that it’s rude to open closed doors? Especially the ones that are locked!
VALERIE
Not rude. Curious. Inquiring minds want to know and I have one.
BEVERLY
WALLY!
VALERIE
Walter.
BEVERLY
It’s my house, and he’s my son, and I can call him anything I want to.
Wally!?
…
WALTER?!
VALERIE
Maybe he got lost in this big house.
I got lost and your bed is like a rock. So hard.
BEVERLY
You were on my bed?
FRANCISCO
Hold up! You got lost in here? Maybe I should take a tour of this place someday.
BEVERLY
You are not taking any tour on any day.
WALTER?!
FRANCISCO
You don’t have to keep yelling for him. He can take care of himself.
BEVERLY
How would you know?
FRANCISCO begins to exit.
BEVERLY
Where are you going?
FRANCISCO
To find him.
BEVERLY
So you can keep lying to him?
FRANCISCO
Me lie?
BEVERLY begins to exit.
BEVERLY
If anyone’s going to find MY son, it’s going to be me.
Don’t talk to them!
BEVERLY exits.
FRANCISCO
(To Audience)
Hey! I mean… howdy. Um… if I had Maria right now, I’d play
VALERIE
Who’s Maria?
FRANCISCO
Maria’s… Maria’s the name of my guitar.
VALERIE
That’s a beautiful name.
FRANCISCO
Yeah. She was. She could sing like no other.
VALERIE
I’d like to hear her sing.
FRANCISCO
I would too.
I sold her to come out here.
VALERIE
That is a shame.
It must have been hard for you to do.
To sell your guitar.
FRANCISCO
It was worth it.
VALERIE
I like your shirt.
FRANCISCO
I’m glad one of us does.
VALERIE
It’s very…
FRANCISCO
Sexy?
VALERIE
Frilly.
FRANCISCO
I thought everyone in Kentucky wore this.
VALERIE
Is it a stereotype to think that all Americans like to stereotype?
FRANCISCO
So, you like really like this shirt?
VALERIE
Are you Walter’s father?
FRANCISCO
I’m… Frank.
VALERIE
He looks like you.
FRANCISCO
You think?
VALERIE
He is better looking.
FRANCISCO
That’s because he’s younger. But I am more, how do I put this? Experienced.
VALERIE
I would say, old.
FRANCISCO
What’s your name?
VALERIE
Valerie Zhanibekova.
FRANCISCO
Zahn-ee-beh-kova? That’s a mouthful.
VALERIE
It is my name. You don’t look like a Frank.
FRANCISCO
It’s really Francisco. Frank is just easier to say.
VALERIE
Easier for who?
FRANCISCO
For anyone who wants to hire you. Look, when a tree is falling, it’s easier to say, “Frank! Look out for that tree!”
VALERIE
But then you would still be a squashed Francisco, even if you are called Frank.
FRANCISCO
I catch your drift.
VALERIE
You caught my… I’m not even going to try.
FRANCISCO
It’s only a name. Frank. Francisco. Same man in these same pants, Honey Bear.
VALERIE
Now I am Honey Bear? Your wife call me a Deer earlier.
FRANCISCO
She’s not my
VALERIE
I do not get the fascination with / animals.
FRANCISCO
Maria is not my wife.
VALERIE
You just told me that Maria is the name of your guitar, so guitar is not your wife too?
FRANCISCO
Maria happens to be both the name of my guitar… and my ex-wife.
VALERIE
So your ex-wife is not Beverly. It is Maria?
FRANCISCO
No, they’re one in the same person.
VALERIE
First she tell me her name is not Beverly Marie and now her name is Maria? And your name is Frank, not Francisco? Walter used to be Wally. You Americans really like to change who you are.
FRANCISCO
I told you, they’re just names.
VALERIE
Then why need to change?
Throughout this scene, FRANCISCO’s symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease becomes more visible.
FRANCISCO
I guess… I don’t know. Probably because, here in America, we finally have the chance to turn into something or someone better, you know? When we first arrived, all I wanted to do was start a band and play for someone… anyone. And that’s just what I did. Out in the park or at the pier. One time someone even paid me to play dressed up like a clown.
VALERIE
I love clowns.
FRANCISCO
I hate clowns. They’re so damn creepy. But I had to do it because… because it was the right
thing to do. I’m the man. I was supposed to be the provider. That’s the way it was supposed to be. And I tried, but…
My best was never good enough for her.
When we first arrived, I would set up my amp and a bucket down the block from the Blue Dot on Sunset. And every time Johnny Bones Simone, that’s the owner of the Blue Dot, would walk up the block, I would always ask him for a shot to play inside the club. Shoot. People always told me that I played just like Eric Clapton or B.B. King. Know who they are?
VALERIE
No.
FRANCISCO
You know what the blues are, right?
VALERIE
Of course.
FRANCISCO
Don’t say it’s a color.
VALERIE
Of course you silly Ox. It’s not a color… it’s… like a color.
FRANCISCO
Well.. the blues is… well, I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore since… Man. Being compared to Clapton or King was like… I swore they taught me everything about playing a guitar. Well everything except how to look like them, because Bones would always say, “You sound great, but you just wouldn’t fit in, Man. Good luck.” Good luck? What does luck have to do with playing the blues? The blues is about…
VALERIE
Feeling blue?
FRANCISCO
Being blue.
VALERIE
I’m sure that Walter would like to hear you play.
FRANCISCO
I can’t…
Remember, I sold my guitar.
VALERIE
Ah. Guitar Maria.
FRANCISCO
Yup. But that’s beside the point. I’m not even allowed to see him… technically.
VALERIE
Not allowed?
FRANCISCO
Look, I’m not perfect. Can you keep this on the D.L, Valerie?
VALERIE
That is Down Low, right?
I’m hip.
FRANCISCO
Yeah. You are.
Look, I signed something that said that if I left Walter alone, Maria’d send me some money every month. But, just enough to get by, you know? But only until I made it big. She told me that she had a sweet gig doing some teaching and she could afford to take care of the kid, but only if I stayed out of the picture.
(To the Audience.)
Uh, but you didn’t hear any of that from me, dig?
Especially, you Ms. Goldsmith. Deep down, I know Maria… Beverly is trying to do the right thing. And she.. she raised a fine young man… But if he ever found out the truth…
VALERIE
The truth is you made choice not to be his father. And for what? For money? I do not think I would like to see you too if I were him.
FRANCISCO
I know that was wrong. I was wrong. But… but I’m here now. I’m here for my son and I want to make things right. I want to finally know him. I want to know what’s he like. How he likes school. Does he play music? Is he okay without knowing his father?
Because the only thing I do know
is that I’m tired of coming home to an empty North Hollywood apartment
when the only good thing I made on this planet
lives in a huge white house with a white picket fence… in Kentucky.
Some American Dream.
Enter WALTER.
VALERIE
Walter.
FRANCISCO
Hey, Buddy.
WALTER
Walter.
FRANCISCO
Right. Sorry. Walter.
WALTER
Where’s Beverly?
VALERIE
She went looking for you.
WALTER
But I’m here.
VALERIE
And so is Frank Francisco.
FRANCISCO
Howdy.
VALERIE
(to Francisco)
I’m sure you have a lot of questions for your… for him.
VALERIE begins to exit.
FRANCISCO
Hey! Where are you going?
VALERIE
Don’t bunch up your panties. I’ll just be outside.
Go talk.
Now.
FRANCISCO
But
VALERIE
Tell him about Maria.
VALERIE exits.
FRANCISCO
Howdy.
WALTER
Who’s Maria?
FRANCISCO
She’s… she was my guitar. Hey, do you play any instruments?
WALTER
Beverly won’t let me. When I was 6, I asked her for a guitar for Christmas.
FRANCISCO
Yeah?!
That’s groovy. Hey, I’d love to see it.
WALTER
I didn’t get one.
She said that it would only bring me heartbreak and disappointment.
I don’t think she was talking about guitars.
FRANCISCO
Ah.
WALTER
I got underwear instead.
FRANCISCO
Well… those are useful. You can’t go anywhere without a nice clean pair of under
WALTER
Are you going to a Halloween Party?
FRANCISCO
Halloween?
WALTER
Why are you dressed up like a cowboy?
FRANCISCO
I thought that this is what everyone in Kentucky wore.
WALTER
(Pointing to the Audience)
They don’t look like cowboys.
FRANCISCO
I also thought that everyone rode horses because of the, you know, Kentucky Derby
WALTER
That’s in Louisville.
FRANCISCO
Ah
WALTER
And this is Frankfort.
FRANCISCO
I know
WALTER
Louisville is 54 miles away.
FRANCISCO
It felt farther than that. The bus stopped there to
WALTER
You were on a bus?
FRANCISCO
Yup.
WALTER
Was it a Greyhound?
FRANCISCO
As a matter of fact
WALTER
I’ve always wanted to ride in a Greyhound Bus. Was it exciting?
FRANCISCO
Um… well, it’s a bus, so I don’t know if / exciting’s the word
WALTER
I’ve always wanted to travel.
FRANCISCO
You’ve never been anywhere?
WALTER
Where did you come from?
FRANCISCO
California.
WALTER
Hollywood?
FRANCISCO
(Lets out a laugh.)
Close enough.
WALTER
Hollywood is 2,138 miles away from here.
FRANCISCO
How’d you know that?
WALTER
There is an invention called the Internet.
FRANCISCO
I know what the Internet / is
WALTER
And there’s something called Google Maps
FRANCISCO
I know what / Google is too.
WALTER
New York is 729 miles away.
London is 4,010 miles away.
And Beijing is 6,870 miles away.
FRANCISCO
You’re… you’re a genius! You must be the smartest person in your whole entire school!
WALTER
I have completed my education.
FRANCISCO
What do you mean completed?
WALTER
It means finished.
FRANCISCO
I know what completed means, I meant that shouldn’t you be a senior now.
WALTER
I graduated early.
FRANCISCO
That I didn’t know.
But, that doesn’t surprise me one bit. You are a genius after all. Congratulations!
WALTER
Thank you?
FRANCISCO
Then, why don’t you tell me about when you did go to school? Who was your favorite teacher? Did you have a lot of friends? Do you have a girl… friend?
WALTER
This was my school.
FRANCISCO
Here?
WALTER
That’s my desk.
That’s my chair.
And those were my books.
There were a lot of mean people at the regular school. Beverly said that because kids don’t know any better, they like to pick on people like me. So, the day after I was let out of the janitor’s closet, Beverly told me that she would be my teacher from then on.
FRANCISCO
How long ago was that?
WALTER
When I was 10 years old.
FRANCISCO
10? So, that means you’ve never really…
I’m sorry. I wished I knew.
WALTER
Why?
FRANCISCO
Because, maybe, I could have helped.
WALTER
Do you know how to unlock a janitor’s closet from the inside?
FRANCISCO
No.
But, I’m just saying…
So you’ve never really left this house?
WALTER
I get to go to BELL Supermarket.
FRANCISCO
And where else?
WALTER
Sometimes, we go to the mall. I like Hot Dog on a Stick.
FRANCISCO
Me too.
WALTER
I like how they make the Lemonade.
FRANCISCO
Yeah. I get a kick when the workers go up and down on that stick. It’s like they’re making butter.
WALTER
But they’re making lemonade.
FRANCISCO
I know. I was just saying
WALTER
Then it would be called Butter on a Stick.
FRANCISCO
But it’s not called Lemon on a Stick.
WALTER
Now, that’s just being silly.
FRANCISCO
Right. Let’s just forget about the lemonade now.
WALTER
Too late. I’m already thirsty…
FRANCISCO
Then what do you like to eat?
WALTER
Tater tots.
FRANCISCO
Yeah, tater tots are good. But what about any Filipino food? Like pancit, caldereta, or what about adobo?
WALTER
What are those?
FRANCISCO
You’ve never had adobo?
WALTER
An Adobe is a building material made from earth and organic material. I don’t believe that’s edible.
FRANCISCO
Not Adobe. Adobo. Adobo is a kind of meat stew made with vinegar, soy sauce, and bay leaves. Your mom made the best adobo.
WALTER
I don’t eat meat.
FRANCISCO
Oh… well that’s healthy. Then what about lumpia? Please tell me you had lumpia.
WALTER
Lumpia?
FRANCISCO
It’s a brown rolled up food filled with vegetables and…
WALTER
Oh, Egg Rolls. She calls them egg rolls.
FRANCISCO
Good God. What did she do to you?
WALTER
From Panda Express. At the mall. Which is right next to…
FRANCISCO
Hot Dog on a Stick.
WALTER
Yeah.
FRANCISCO
Let’s talk about something else then… what about college?
WALTER
They have a Hot Dog on a Stick in College?
FRANCISCO
No. I don’t know. Maybe, but I mean, do you want to go to college?
WALTER
Beverly says that it’s un-American for people to spend a lifetime paying back a student loan.
FRANCISCO
She said that?
WALTER
Did you know that only 47 percent of college graduates actually use the degree that they paid for?.
FRANCISCO
No. I didn’t know that. But what about the other part of college? Like going to parties, getting drunk, throwing up
WALTER
I don’t like throwing up.
FRANCISCO
Yeah. That part ain’t so fun.
But what about friends? You should go to college to make friends.
WALTER
Valerie is my friend.
FRANCISCO
And Valerie is a good start, but you’ll need more of them.
WALTER
I’m… I’m not good with people.
FRANCISCO
You’re kidding me. You’re a natural in front of these people.
WALTER
They’re not real.
FRANCISCO
They look pretty real to me.
WALTER
Beverly says that they are helpless souls.
(to Audience)
No offense.
FRANCISCO
(Sarcastically)
How could that sound offensive?
WALTER
You didn’t let me finish.
FRANCISCO
I’m sorry. Carry on.
WALTER
Beverly says that they are helpless souls looking for a home in a new country. And because they are helpless, they can’t hurt you like the regular people outside of that door can. But, after we teach them everything we know, then they become no longer helpless. Instead, they become helpful. For each other. For all of us. And for this country.
FRANCISCO
She taught you that?
WALTER
She teaches everyone that. She is a good teacher.
FRANCISCO
I guess she is.
But, hey! Did she ever teach you how to talk to girls?
WALTER
I already know how to talk to girls.
FRANCISCO
You do?
WALTER
And how to talk to boys. And Men. And Women too. In case you haven’t noticed, this is what I do every time we have a class. I talk to all of them.
FRANCISCO
That’s not what I meant.
I mean, I’ve seen how you look at Valerie. You like her, don’t you?
WALTER
She smells nice.
FRANCISCO
Walter, I’m just saying that I know a thing or two about women.
WALTER
Okay.
FRANCISCO
Would you like me to teach you?
WALTER
A thing or two?
FRANCISCO
And more.
WALTER
I don’t know. I’ve only had one teacher.
FRANCISCO
Then I’d love the chance to be another one.
Try this, when you see the person who… smells nice, you look her in the eyes, give her a smile, and say, “How you doin’?”
WALTER
How are you doing?
FRANCISCO
How you doin’?
WALTER
How. You. Doing.
FRANCISCO
Doin’.
WALTER
Doin’.
FRANCISCO
How you doin’?
WALTER
How you doin’?
FRANCISCO
Better. Better. Now stand like this.
WALTER
Like this?
FRANCISCO
Loosen up a little bit more.
That’s. Better.
Okay, now say…
WALTER
How you doin’?
BEVERLY and VALERIE enter.
VALERIE
See. Walter is right there.
WALTER
Hi.
FRANCISCO
Not like that.
WALTER
Oh.
How you doin’?
VALERIE
I’m fine, but why are you standing like that?
And why are you talking like Joey from Friends?
BEVERLY gives Walter a hug.
BEVERLY
Walter! I’ve been looking all over for you.
WALTER
How you doin’?
FRANCISCO
Not to your mom!
BEVERLY
Stop saying that, Walter.
(To Francisco)
And you?! Why are you still here? Do I have to call the police?
WALTER
Why? We were just talking.
BEVERLY
What did you tell him?
WALTER
He told me about Maria.
BEVERLY
Francisco! That’s it!
I have ICE on speed dial
(to Audience)
And it’s not for any of you.
FRANCISCO
You don’t have to do that!
VALERIE
They were just talking.
BEVERLY
You stay out of this or will ICE be interested in you too?
FRANCISCO
Leave Valerie out of this.
BEVERLY
Are you in on this scam with him?
FRANCISCO
Valerie has nothing to do with this, okay?
I’m leaving.
VALERIE
You don’t have to leave.
FRANCISCO
I don’t want to cause you any problems. I’ve already screwed up enough lives.
VALERIE
But
FRANCISCO
Thank you though… for the pep talk and all.
But um…
(FRANCISCO goes over to his duffle bag, pulls out a CD, and gives to Walter.)
Happy Birthday, Walter.
WALTER
Thank you.
FRANCISCO
Anytime.
BEVERLY
The last time.
FRANCISCO
Sure.
VALERIE
Wait. Isn’t there something you want to tell him?
BEVERLY
No. There isn’t.
FRANCISCO
Actually, there is. This will be short. I promise.
Walter, there are people outside that door who won’t hurt you or make fun of you. You just have to trust yourself enough to know that you’re not one of the helpless. Okay? Remember that.
Be good.
FRANCISCO exits.
WALTER is looking at the CD.
BEVERLY
I am so sorry for that disruption, ladies and gentleman. I promise that won’t happen again.
WALTER
He does live in Hollywood.
VALERIE
Who does?
WALTER
Frank Francisco.
BEVERLY
Incredible.
Give me that.
WALTER
No. It’s my first birthday gift from someone not you.
VALERIE
What about my gift?
WALTER
You weren’t supposed to say anything.
BEVERLY
What gift, Valerie?
VALERIE
Nothing.
BEVERLY
(To Audience)
Is she lying?
VALERIE
They did not see anything.
WALTER pulls out the chocolate bar that Valerie gave him earlier.
WALTER
She gave me this.
BEVERLY takes the chocolate and gives it to an audience member.
VALERIE
That is supposed to be your gift, Walter. Not hers.
BEVERLY
(To Audience Member)
This is for your patience today. I’m sure that this isn’t the kind of presentation you were expecting to see.
VALERIE
That’s okay, Walter. I will give you one the next time you go to BELL Supermarket.
BEVERLY
There will be no next time. You’re not going back there again.
WALTER
That’s the only place you let me go to by myself.
BEVERLY
We’ll find another market for you to go to.
WALTER
But I like BELL Supermarket.
BEVERLY
There are more markets in town, Walter.
WALTER
But there’s only one Valerie.
BEVERLY
Walter Bryce Spencer. You are not to disrespect me in front of all these people.
VALERIE
He was not disrespecting
BEVERLY
You stay out of this!
WALTER
Don’t yell at her!
BEVERLY
You are not allowed to see him ever again.
VALERIE
Are you going to make me sign a contract too?
Silence.
BEVERLY
Get out.
Get out of my house.
VALERIE
Walter needs to know.
BEVERLY
Walter, can you bring me the phone?
(To Valerie)
If you’re not going to leave, then the police will make you.
WALTER
What do I need to know, Beverly?
BEVERLY
It’s none of your concern.
VALERIE
You need to know the truth.
WALTER
Truth about what?
BEVERLY
Where’s that phone?
VALERIE
Your father. He came to see you and she push him out the door.
WALTER
Frank Francisco?
(Silence.)
Mom?!
WALTER exits.
BEVERLY
Walter! Walter! Come back here!
How dare you come into my house and turn his life upside down.
VALERIE
I think I turn it right side up.
BEVERLY
He’s not your son.
VALERIE
But he is my friend.
BEVERLY
Friends don’t hurt each other.
VALERIE
How would you know? Do you have any?
BEVERLY
For the last time, leave my house.
VALERIE
Why you keep pushing everyone out? Like me. Like Frank Francisco. Is that how you become an American?
BEVERLY
If you want to get ahead in this country, then yes. Sometimes certain sacrifices need to be made.
VALERIE
That is not the America I know.
BEVERLY
Then why are you even in this country? Don’t answer that. I’m going to tell you why. You’re here because of all of the opportunities this country presents you. I’m not talking about the Freedom and the certain Unalienable Rights. I’m talking about getting the chance to be something greater than you or anyone thinks you can be. Becoming an American means that you can start over with a new slate. And if you work hard, work real hard, you can turn that slate into a hot meal and a one bedroom apartment. And you learn how to survive there even though it has no hot water or electricity for you and your newborn son.
Being an American means that you’re strong enough to ignore that white grocery clerk who follows you and your baby around the store so you won’t steal anything. Wally couldn’t even talk yet, but he knew, he knew, what discrimination felt like. All his screaming and crying reflected that shame… and there were times when I couldn’t help but do the same.
But you get over that. Because you don’t have a choice. Being constantly reminded of how different you are… of how unequal you are… because of the color of your skin… or the sound of your voice. I made a vow to never feel like that again. Or to have Walter feel that way. Or more importantly, to make anyone in this room feel like that way ever again.
VALERIE
And you do that by erasing your past? By erasing your culture? Your name?
BEVERLY
This is my culture. And this is me. I’m an American. And this is how we survive.
VALERIE
But that is not how you are supposed to live.
BEVERLY
Survival is living.
VALERIE
How you can teach these people that?
BEVERLY
It’s easy.
Lesson 1: If you want to be an American, you have to think and speak like you are an American.
VALERIE
Beverly
BEVERLY
Lesson 2: Put everything you learned from your old country behind you, starting with your accent.
VALERIE
What accent?
BEVERLY
Lesson 3: The American Family: Keeping your village away from them.
Lesson 4:
VALERIE
I was sold by my family.
The reason I come to America was because my mother sold me to a man from next village. I did not find that out until I was kidnapped by that man’s son. One minute I was walking with my friends and the next I was picked up by two men and thrown into the backseat of a car.
They take me to house in other village and this woman kept trying to give me an oramal–a how you say, a handkerchief–to put on my head, meaning I agree to marry him. Of course, I do not put on. Then they force me to write a letter to my mother telling her that I was taken by them. I was sure that my mother would come to take me home, but when she come to the house to see me, I saw a man give her money. The money paid to replace me.
And I never saw her or my sister again.
BEVERLY
And your husband brought you here?
VALERIE
I escaped. The man and his son lock me in a room. Very easy to open. One of the few things my father taught me before he died was how to pick locks.
BEVERLY
Useful.
VALERIE
Do not lock Walter in. He is a good man.
BEVERLY
I’m not locking him anywhere
VALERIE
He is not allowed to go to BELL Supermarket.
BEVERLY
There are other stores.
VALERIE
Not allowed to have chocolate.
BEVERLY
Dental care is very important.
VALERIE
He is not allowed to know his father.
BEVERLY
Wally’s none of your business.
VALERIE
Walter is my friend.
Enter WALTER with a suitcase.
BEVERLY
What are you doing with that?
WALTER
I found it in the locked room. It wasn’t locked anymore.
BEVERLY
I told you to never go in there.
WALTER
You also told me that my father left us on a Greyhound Bus.
BEVERLY
I couldn’t tell you the truth.
VALERIE
Are you going on a trip?
WALTER takes out the CD that Francisco gave him and reads…
WALTER
13014 Sherman Way, Apartment B. North Hollywood, California, 91605.
He’s 2,143 miles away.
BEVERLY
You’re not going anywhere.
WALTER
I’m 18. I can make my own life now. Isn’t that what you’ve been teaching them?
BEVERLY
Then how do you think you’re going to get there?
WALTER
Greyhound.
VALERIE
No. I can drive. I have always wanted go to Hollywood… and maybe Disneyland? Nothing more American, yes?
BEVERLY
You’re not taking him
WALTER
She’s not. I’m leaving.
WALTER picks Walter’s suitcase and exits.
BEVERLY
Then who will take over for me?
WALTER reaches into his back pocket for the index cards and hands it to someone in the audience.
WALTER
You can ask one of them.
VALERIE
Let’s go, Walter.
BEVERLY
You can’t trust the girl from the market.
WALTER
Her name is Valerie and I don’t know who else I can trust here.
BEVERLY
I’m your mother.
VALERIE
Then you should have trusted your son with the truth about his father.
Walter, I’ll be in the car waiting.
VALERIE picks up Walter’s bag and exits.
BEVERLY
I can’t believe that you’re going to leave me alone.
WALTER
Who are the people in the pictures?
BEVERLY
What pictures?
WALTER
The ones in the locked room.
(Silence.)
There are photographs of a person who looks like a younger version of you. She lived in a big home with a big family. Why don’t I know any of those people in those pictures?
BEVERLY
…
WALTER
It must run in the family.
WALTER begins to exit.
BEVERLY
What does?
WALTER
Leaving family behind.
Goodbye, Beverly.
BEVERLY
Wait!
Wait… I don’t… I don’t want you to leave.
WALTER
There are too many secrets.
BEVERLY
Your grandmother told me that if I didn’t get rid of you when I got pregnant, then I wouldn’t have a family anymore. I was kicked out of that home you saw in those pictures because I would not give you up. Francisco’s uncle sold us fake passports and social security cards to come to this country and start over. And that’s exactly what I did. That person you call your father, took the easy way out and didn’t want anything to do with you. Instead, he went out every night to play that damn guitar. But I stayed with you and I built a new life for us. Everything I’ve ever done was for you, Walter.
No more secrets you are my American Dream.
WALTER walks over to Beverly and gives her a long hug.
WALTER
I have to go.
BEVERLY
But I told you everything.
WALTER
I know you did. But I need to learn about America for myself now. Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll be back in a jiff.
Trust in me. I’ve had a great teacher.
WALTER picks up his suitcase and exits.
The musical notes of a child’s xylophone heard at the beginning of the presentation are played again.
BEVERLY
Oh. Well…
That sound marks the end of today’s session.
Thank you so much for sharing your time with us… with me. I hope that you were able to take some of the lessons that we showed you on your road towards the American Dream.
Something that I’ve… that I thought…
I’m sorry, Ms. Goldsmith. This wasn’t the flawless presentation I hoped it would be. Turns out that I’m just… flawed. Like all of us are in one way or another, right?
I stand before all of you truly humbled by the American Dream. We are all blessed to have an opportunity in this country to work hard in order to pursue life, liberty and happiness. And we should know that we’re on the right track when our future generations want to become a part of the fabric of American life too. Each one of us in this room represents a special patch in the quilt made with our own language, food, memory, faith, and family all of the things that when stitched together say, WE are America.
My name is… my name is Maria Trinidad Salazar.
Thank you and good night.
END OF PLAY