Image by morhamedufmg from Pixabay
Origin: Sarcasm by Conrad A. Panganiban
Cast:
SARCASTICUS, a very bored philosopher
XEROX, greek scribe
DICTORONOMY, greek wordsmith
Setting: the year is 400 BC in a greek courtyard
XEROX
Dictoronomy, I don’t know how you do it. That is the perfect word for it.
DICTORONOMY
Make sure you spell it right, my good Xerox.
XEROX
O-R-G-A-S-M. Got it!
SARCASTICUS
(monotone)
Wow. That’s so original.
DICTORONOMY
It is, isn’t it?
How else would you describe the uncontrollable feeling of joy?
XEROX
Just hearing “Orgasm” gives me that feeling every single time.
DICTORONOMY
Orgasm.
XEROX
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH! That’s the word!
SARCASTICUS
(monotone)
You’re soooo smart, Dictoronomy. You’re intellect even gives me an orgasm.
XEROX
Why doesn’t that compliment NOT sound like a compliment?
SARCATICUS
And it’s amazing how your question doesn’t sound like a question.
DICTORONOMY
I sense some irony in that tone.
SARCATICUS
Did you figure that all out on your own? Or did you have to look up the definition of irony?
XEROX
He’s Dictoronomy. He created The Dictionary.
DICTORONOMY
There is something off with you, Sarcaticus. What is it?
SARCATICUS
You caught me. I had this dream last night where people in the future spoke with cutting irony.
XEROX
Then it’s right you bring it up to us, the Greek Council of Words.
DICTORONOMY
Did you find out the name of that cutting irony?
SARCATICUS
Do I look like a person whose only purpose in life is to make up words?
XEROX
Oh, that’s all Dictoronomy does! He has absolutely no life at all. None. Nada.
DICTORONOMY
Thank you.
SARCATICUS
Did you really mean to Thank Xerox?
DICTORONOMY
No.
XEROX
Irony!
SARCATICUS
Ding ding ding! Look who wins the prize to Jamaica!
XEROX
I did! I did? What’s a Jamaica? Ohhhh… you did that thing again.
DICTORONOMY
Sarcasm. That’s what we’ll call it! SARCASM! Ohhhhhh!
SARCATICUS
Did you just have an orgasm?
DICTORONOMY
I think I did, my dear Sarcaticus.
I think I… Oooohhhhhh… did.
BLACKOUT