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RYCE (WITH A Y)
A 10-Minute Sci-Fi Comedy Fantasy
By Conrad A. Panganiban
Developed for Contemporary Asian Theatre Scene’s 2024 AAPI Playwrights Festival produced by Jeffrey Lo. San Jose, CA. July 2024.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
ERNESTO GARCIA: 20-30s. He/Him/His. Filipino American. Co-creator of Ryce (with a Y) the scientifically created Rice Alternative.
NANA ISHIGAWA: 20-30s. She/Her/Hers. Japanese American. Co-creator of Ryce (with a Y) and fiancé of Ernesto. Nana is short for Nanako.
ETHEREALS: The chorus of VINH, LAWAN, and CHARIYA. They are protectors of the memory, recipes, and culture of Rice. Sent by the Rice Gods to stop ERNESTO and NANA from going on Shark Tank and mass producing their Rice Alternative – Ryce (with a Y).
VINH: Any age. He/Him/His. Asian American. Rice Superpower: Throwing Super Sticky rice.
CHARIYA: Any age. She/Her/Hers. Asian American. Badass. Rice Superpower: Multi-Grain Exploding Rice Bomb.
LAWAN: Any age. She/Her/Hers. Asian American. Rice Superpower: The Congee Super Power Punch.
Lights up on the Ryce with a Y Lab. NANA ISHIGAWA, 20s Japanese American in a lab coat is sitting at a table with 2 bowls of cooked rice in front of her. Standing behind her is her fiancé and fellow scientist, ERNESTO GARCIA, 20s Filipino American, also in a lab coat.
ERNESTO
Give it a good inhale, Nana.
NANA picks up each bowl and does.
NANA
Smells like 100 percent Jasmine Rice.
ERNESTO
Now, the true test.
ERNESTO takes out a pair of chopsticks and hands it to NANA. NANA pierces the chopsticks into each bowl and takes a taste of both, carefully analyzing each chew.
NANA picks up one of the bowls.
NANA
This one is the real Rice.
ERNESTO
Final answer?
NANA
Wait.
NANA picks up the OTHER bowl and takes another bite.
NANA
Nope. This is the one!
ERNESTO
Nice try, but they’re BOTH ours!
NANA gets up and gives ERNESTO a big hug!
NANA
Oh my God! You did it, Ernesto! Your dad would be so proud!
Ryce with a Y tastes, feels, and smells exactly like real rice! And it’s so good!
ERNESTO
We did it.
And don’t forget, Ryce with a Y is also good for you! By cloning a single grain of rice, we’re able to reduce the amount of carbs by 93%, use half the water to cook it in half the time, and costs nothing to harvest because, well, there’s nothing to harvest.
NANA
And cook it in our portable USB-Powered Ryce with a Y cooker to ANY serving size and KA-CHING! We’re in the money!
ERNESTO
I hope so.
NANA
That was a great pitch by the way.
ERNESTO
Thanks. I need all the practice I can get.
Can you believe that we get to pitch Ryce with a Y on Shark Tank tomorrow?
See, I’ve also been practicing using my convincing eyes.
NANA
Those aren’t convincing. They’re scared.
ERNESTO
Well… that might be because of this…
ERNESTO gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring box from his lab coat.
ERNESTO
Nanako Ishigawa. From the first time I became your lab partner in Mr. Lo’s Microbiology class, I always knew that one day I’d ask you to be the burner to my Bunsen. Your soy to my sauce. Will you-?
Suddenly, through a dense fog, The ETHEREALS of VINH, CHARIYA, and LAWAN dressed in different colored robes appear.
NANA
YOU. DID. NOT! You also got a Flash Mob for this engagement!?
ERNESTO
I have no idea who those people are!
ETHEREALS
You have upset the Balance of Life
The Balance of Earth and Grain
Exploiting the inequity between Science and Nature
VINH
I am Vinh.
CHARIYA
I am Chariya.
LAWAN
I’m Lawan.
ETHEREALS
And we are… The Ethereals
CHARIYA
Protectors,
LAWAN
Advocates,
VINH
and Nurturers of Earth’s Most Precious Grain
ETHEREALS
Sent from the Rice Gods… to Stop You.
The ETHEREALS move into a fighting posture.
NANA
I don’t know what kind of Flash Mob are you, but you can’t just break in here, tell us to stop making something that will save lives, and most importantly–mess up my proposal!
LAWAN
Did you ever think about who you’ll be hurting with your invention?
VINH
The lives you’ll be ruining?
CHARIYA
The land you’ll be changing?
ERNESTO
No. We’ll be creating something that has 93% less carbs, using half the water to-
LAWAN
We heard your pitch.
ETHEREALS
And we’re not going to allow you to go on that television show.
CHARIYA
Your invention will put farmers from around the world out of work.
VINH
Turn rice plantations into waste lands.
LAWAN
And it will kill memories-
CHARIYA
Traditions-
VINH
Customs-
ETHEREALS
And Cultures.
ERNESTO
But it’s just Ryce.
NANA
With a Y.
CHARIYA
What does it mean when you don’t finish eating the rice from a bowl?
NANA
Duh! It means that your future spouse will have just as many blemishes on his face.
ERNESTO
Hey! I moisturize!
VINH
And what happens when you don’t bring rice into a new home?
ERNESTO
My dad said that it’s bad luck. Like we won’t have enough food to last the year.
LAWAN
And what will happen when rice is thrown at a wedding couple?
NANA
I don’t think that’s allowed anymore.
VINH
Thrown rice at a wedding will mean that the your lives will bear fruit.
LAWAN
That your legacy will carry on-
CHARIYA
That your ancestors will still be here long after their physical manifestations are-
ETHEREALS
Gone.
Like how those superstitions are passed on from generation to generation.
ERNESTO
All because of Rice?
ETHEREALS
With an ‘I’.
NANA
You might think that you’re cool with your fancy clothes, ability to speak in unison, and god-like warnings, but we didn’t spend the last five years and max out eleven credit cards to stop us from changing our destiny!
ERNESTO
And from going on Shark Tank!
The ETHEREALS again assume their fighting positions.
NANA
Bring it!
NANA and ERNESTO get in their fighting positions.
Rave music starts and lights flash as each of the sides BEGIN TO FIGHT!
VINH
Super Sticky Rice Power Activate!
VINH throws sticky rice at Ernesto who catches it and takes a bite.
ERNESTO
(talks like there’s something really sticky in his mouth)
Not as good as Ryce with a Y!
CHARIYA takes out a rice measuring cup.
CHARIYA
Multi-Grain Exploding Rice Bomb Activate!
NANA uses her quick reflexes to grab each grain of flying rice in her hands and puts them into her lab coat.
NANA
Gonna save this for later.
As LAWAN takes out her Rice Paddle, ERNESTO takes out a Fork and Spoon, and NANA takes out a pair of Chopsticks.
It’s a SHOWDOWN! They twirl around each other striking and counter-striking while VINH and CHARIYA get into positions behind them with raised fists in the air.
ETHEREALS
By the Power of the Rice Gods-
VINH
STEAM!
VINH punches the ground.
CHARIYA
FRIED!
CHARIYA punches the ground.
LAWAN
CONGEE!!!
LAWAN punches the ground and everyone bounces up and crashes to the lab floor.
ERNESTO
Nana, are you okay?
NANA
Is that all you’ve got?
ALL get to their feet brushing themselves off.
ETHEREALS
We can go all day.
Once again, they ALL get back into fighting positions, except for ERNESTO.
ERNESTO
I won’t.
NANA
Fine by me. I can take them all by my self!
ERNESTO
No, Nana.
I won’t because I know you won’t stop fighting and they won’t stop fighting… and all we’ll have left is a lab full of rice that will take forever to clean. And if you’ve ever spilled uncooked rice all over the floor, you’d know how long that would take.
ALL nods their heads in knowing agreement.
VINH
Why do you want to mass produce your invention?
LAWAN
Even though it goes against nature-
CHARIYA
Tradition-
ETHEREALS
And Culture?
ERNESTO
My dad bought me my first science kit for my 10th birthday.
It was one of those kits where you could make things fizz,
or boil over,
or make soap.
It was the gift that showed me that by being able to mix different elements,
of who you are,
of your imagination and curiosity,
that you can create things that could make other kids go
“Oooo” or “Ahhhh” or say, “Oh Dangggggggg!”
And even though they made fun of the adobo, bitter melon, and rice I’d bring to school for lunch,
I couldn’t wait til 5th period when I would show them what I learned from
That science kit my dad bought me
That made me feel like I belonged.
That I was cool…
and smart
To show that I was normal.
And if I could invent something that could save lives,
If I could give other people the chance to live a longer life with their own fathers…
or mothers…
or aunts and uncles.
Something I wished I could have with my dad after he passed away because of Diabetes and Heart Disease.
But, inventing Ryce with a Y was my chance to do just that… for others. And that’s something I won’t stop making. So if you have to hit me with another round of Steamed Fried Congee again, I’m not going anywhere.
NANA takes Ernesto’s hand.
NANA
I’m not going anywhere either.
The ETHEREALS look at each other.
LAWAN
Huddle?
VINH and CHARIYA nod, “Yes” and they get into a huddle.
NANA
That was really beautiful… and convincing.
ERNESTO
Told you, it’s in the eyes.
The ETHEREALS break their huddle.
ETHEREALS
We have spoken with the Rice Gods and they would like to make you an offer.
VINH
You share the science of making your low-carb rice-
LAWAN
for them to recreate and send 15% into existing crops-
CHARIYA
for farmers around the world to harvest and sell.
ERNESTO
Do we get to pick which farmers?
CHARIYA
What difference does it make?
NANA
We’d like to know that we’re not only helping with others’ health, but that we’re also helping small farmers compete with the big rice corporations.
LAWAN
I’m not sure if we can-
CHARIYA
But our contract with CalRose-
ERNESTO
Then we’re out.
VINH
Wait, you can’t do that-
NANA
And also make it 35% of the grains into the rice crops-
ERNESTO
Plus, increase that output by 2% every year for twenty years.
CHARIYA
Don’t you know how to negotiate?
ERNESTO
Of course we do.
We watch Shark Tank.
So, do we have a deal?
The ETHEREALS look at each other.
ETHEREALS
How do you spell your Rice?
ALL extend their hands to shake.
BLACKOUT.
END OF PLAY