Image by Andrew Martin from Pixabay
JASEN (CONT’D)
I didn’t realize the importance of keeping these traditions alive while at the same time building our own history with our own modern slash urban dancing.
(Another old school song from 1994 starts up again, possibly Buffy’s song and he starts doing a freestyle routine. He finally stops, takes a breath and returns to Lola.)
JASEN
I owe everything to you and my heritage… Ahem. Aheeemmm!
Moon! That’s your cue!
LOLA/MOON
Oh, yeah… Apo. I am glad dat you now realize ebryting dat I tried to teach you about your cultooore and herit age. I lub you berry berry berry berry much. Neber porget dat or me. Now let me snip you one last time? I can now die in peace.
JASEN
Lola?… Lola?… Why?! Bakit why, God? Take me! Not her. Me! Bakit… bakit labis kitang mahal?!!! …and scene. Thank you. Thank you.
The above is a scene from my play GARDEN OF DREAMS as an example of a parody to the extreme version of a Pilipino Cuture Night (PCN). I haven’t been to a University’s PCN in over a decade for various reasons, but I will always be proud of knowing that my very first written play was a PCN. Although I never dreamt that writing Ang Palengke as Sac State’s PCN in 1995 would lead to writing plays thirty years later, I knew that the feeling of hearing an audience’s laughter was something I wanted more of. A PCN is usually the first time many Filipino American students get to experience of performing in front of an audience. For some, students join as an escape from the rigors and stress of classes and exams. For others, it’s a way to find connection to their ancestral roots through dance or sharing a a common narrative that addresses social and familial issues that only Fil-Ams can relate to. But for me, it was a way to realize that I could combine the both objectives to maybe dream of doing this as a career. In the 30 years since that faithful May event from CSU, Sacramento’s Music Recital Hall where I directed and acted my words upon that stage, I had to ask the question, “How many others are still pursing a life in the arts that grew out of being in a PCN?”
I had an awesome conversation with my friend, Barbara, who also went to college at the same time, though at different schools, and is STILL writing. I have witnessed her growth as an artist for so many years outside of a University’s setting. She inspired me to pursue a graduate degree to learn and practice my selected artform of playwriting. Although her lane is riding the poetic wave of spoken word and publications, I consider her a true colleague in that we’ve traversed the same professional experiences. We’ve both ran into issues of navigating our writing lanes where the fields are still populated and historically run by white gatekeepers. We also both realize the struggles of needing to keep the day job(s) to fund our respective art. Getting back to our “talking shop” conversation yesterday, we both asked ourselves, why do we think that a lot of creative students in college no longer creating? And specifically in my case, why don’t I know more Fil-Am playwrights or screenwriters who started their writing careers from PCNs?
I’ve though of a couple of obvious explanations. One being that unless a person is pursuing an ethnic studies degree or degrees in theatre or creative writing, I don’t really see pursuing another degree can lead to a combination of creating performance art written for Filipina/o/x American audiences. Not saying that’s the exclusive goal for those students, but writing that out seems very niche. Also, with the cost of education and either that individual’s and/or family’s want to pursue a professional degree would the primary reason of going to college. Absolutely no shame in that. And actually, that’d be the responsible thing to do as a University Student. Other reasons on why a student’s PCN experience wouldn’t lead to a career in performing arts is that they “grow up” to have their own professional careers, become homeowners, and have their own families. Personally speaking, being a theater maker is time consuming and can sometimes lead to a selfish mindset even though my art is to provide entertainment, reflection, or to create community for others. Doing this for decades with little to no compensation can lead to burn out, some resentment, or to having guilt in thinking that all of this was a waste of time. One other reason I haven’t been able to connect to other post PCN writers is that I haven’t put in the legwork or time to find them… yet!
But one reason that may be outside the box is that these writers don’t have other Pinay and Pinoy writers to follow. One of the reasons I initially majored in Computer Science when I first enrolled into Sac State was because my cousin, who was working for a really accounting good company in San Francisco. And what’s more of a perfect argument that an immigrant parent to use for their child’s well-being than, “If you’re cousin is doing it, then so can you.” And prior to college, the reason to be creative is to have an artistic hobby because it looks great on college applications. Always helps to be a well-rounded person. That is until that person gets into the perfect college to pound them into a perfectly financially-shaped hole to sheer off those imaginative endeavors so that they don’t struggle the same way their parents did as newcomers to a different land. As noble, responsible, and purely moral as those intentions sound, I’d argue that the act of chiseling away the parts of a person’s god-given talent takes away from the community as a whole.
As an entrepreneur or a business-savvy person can attest to, it’d be better to hire a person who genuinely loves their work and is naturally inclined to do the work asked of them. One reason I believe that writing is my calling is that I KNOW I couldn’t write the things I’ve been able to or connect with so many different people through my stories if I wasn’t naturally given this gift to do so. Mind you, I put in the time and PAID for the education to learn how to do what I do to get better at my craft, but I think that made the best use of learning those lessons because I was naturally curious, driven to get better with each play I write, and willing to put my work out there through submissions and this website for others to read, perform, and learn from. I could see how pretentious this could come off, but this essay is trying to get to the bottom of, “WHERE MY PCN PLAYWRIGHTS AT?!”
Other than just asking this question, one way I can hope to boost this number of writers to promote Filipinx stories in America is to share my journey of being a playwright as well as providing my work in a written publication titled WELGA: A Filipino American Playwright’s Journey to be published by PAWA, Inc. Publications and made possible through the Poeta en SF Publication Fund. I am extremely humbled, honored, and motivated by PAWA, Inc., Barbara Jane Reyes, and Oscar Bermeo for the opportunity and platform to encourage more Filipinx writers to tell their stories in order for ALL OF US to truly have a community of differing views, experiences, and lives woven together to create a bond of pride, strength, and unity through shared laughter, anger, compassion, and honesty. Isang Bagsak!